Authenticity

"To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say."
Rene Descartes1596-1650, Philosopher and Scientist

As predicted, yesterday was very intense and rather tiring, but some clarity on the decision front is emerging. I was reading a book on the train, which was so funny in parts that I would laugh out loud. It was a crowded train. Very soon, other people began to smile, and then there was the odd giggle...

It is an old saying that actions speak louder than words. And that is very true on several levels. If someone says that they will complete a task and don't complete it, that gives you a clue as to their real thinking. Perhaps it wasn't so important for them to complete the task, or they don't believe that they have the capacity to complete such tasks. If someone does not like me, they may say "I like you", but their body language will very quickly give the game away, even before their overt actions do.

So why is it so much easier for people to hide their thoughts in their words than in their actions?
I suspect it is because our words are more under our conscious control than our actions. And what we really think gets transmitted directly into our unconscious mind that governs a large portion of our actions. Therefore, a skilled body language expert will be able to read a person's thoughts quite well. And if someone truly believes something, their life will be a testimony to that belief.

If I claim I want to be successful, and I know what I should do, I know I could do it, but I don't do it (CSD - "Could, Should, Don't"), then what's going on? Perhaps I don't really want to be successful after all. Perhaps I have some other beliefs that go against what I say I want. Or perhaps I simply have a fear of success or failure. We may be looking at one of the root causes of CSD, a topic we discussed at length several weeks ago.

A woman keeps attracting men who abuse her, each time complaining bitterly and vowing never to date "that type" again. Yet she still goes for the same men. What is she thinking? That is exactly the question. She could choose differently, she should choose differently, but she doesn't. Maybe she thinks deep down "I'm not worthy of better" or "I deserve to be abused, just like my mother" etc. Listening to what she says would give a misleading view. Paying attention to her actions reveals a lot. A married couple who argue a lot and are on the verge of separating are interviewed. Both of them say that they want their marriage to work and that they love their partner. They say they want to be happy. But their actions suggest that they simply want to be right.

There is so much more we could explore on this. But words are "symbols of symbols, and thus are twice removed from reality". The key is to pay attention to your own actions. That tells you what you are really thinking...