"If you don’t think something can be done, then at least don’t stop someone else from doing it. "
--anonymous
The hay fever season is upon us...Itchy eyes, sneezing fits, irritated throat...Not an ideal start to the day, but then again this is life! The alternative (not being alive) is much less attractive :-).
So gratitude is becoming the dominant early morning emotion. Counting one's blessings is now the early morning ritual (also quite a lot of fun!).
I've observed the dog-in-the-manger dynamic often, where someone does not want to do something or thinks it cannot be done, and then prevents anyone else from doing it. It is a pervasive dynamic that plays itself out in the workplace, at home, in social settings, among children, in schools etc. I wonder what is behind this. Is it simply ego? The need to be right? If I say it cannot be done, then suddenly I have a vested interest in proving myself right. I must then resist any attempt to accomplish the impossible task, musn't I? Otherwise my concept of what is possible is refuted. And if I tie that to my identity, then suddenly there is quite a lot at stake. I become a snarling ferocious dog in the manger (DIAM). Of course, outwardly I may need to appear professional, or not disagreeable, so I may fight my battle in a subtle way. But ultimately, there is a negative agenda aimed at proving me right - it cannot be done.
Now consider this dynamic being played out in the world by millions of people, some of whom are in positions of power and influence. What would be the effect of this on the world's progress? What if the bold creative go-getters are constantly stifled by the DIAMs)? What would be the world's future? But what if the DIAM is rational and reasonable? What if there are very good reasons for thinking that it cannot be done?
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw
Sunday 29 April 2007
Saturday 28 April 2007
A Fine Quotation
"A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool."
- Joseph Roux (1834-1905)French priest and writer
Sunday morning. We have a full house. Our guests from yesterday evening stayed over ("Drive for an hour and a half or have another beer. Hmm"). Everyone is sleeping and my pancake duties will commence probably in about an hour's time. So I get to do my daily quotation review, this time in the kitchen (the study is also a guest bedroom). Incredibly quiet, except for the birds - I think they're really going for it today (maybe they know something we don't).
Interpreting and getting the juice out of the many excellent quotations that there are out there is one of my passions. Today's serves as a warning that I must really respect the quote and do it justice. It is said that a little knowledge is dangerous. A fine quotation, poorly understood by its conveyer and so irrelevant to the topic at hand, will probably raise an eyebrow or confuse the matter for the recipients. The same quotation, well understood by its conveyer and applied to the right topic, will bring clarity and depth of understanding to the recipients.
- Joseph Roux (1834-1905)French priest and writer
Sunday morning. We have a full house. Our guests from yesterday evening stayed over ("Drive for an hour and a half or have another beer. Hmm"). Everyone is sleeping and my pancake duties will commence probably in about an hour's time. So I get to do my daily quotation review, this time in the kitchen (the study is also a guest bedroom). Incredibly quiet, except for the birds - I think they're really going for it today (maybe they know something we don't).
Interpreting and getting the juice out of the many excellent quotations that there are out there is one of my passions. Today's serves as a warning that I must really respect the quote and do it justice. It is said that a little knowledge is dangerous. A fine quotation, poorly understood by its conveyer and so irrelevant to the topic at hand, will probably raise an eyebrow or confuse the matter for the recipients. The same quotation, well understood by its conveyer and applied to the right topic, will bring clarity and depth of understanding to the recipients.
Friday 27 April 2007
Worry and Work
"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work." -Robert Frost, 1875-1963, American Poet
Yesterday, I flitted between being a warrior and being a worryer.
"So much to ponder, so much that could go wrong, what about this, what about that, I need to do that, hope it's not too late" etc.
Then,
"Let's get it on! Come on! Action! JFDI!"
A complete difference in physiology and energy between the worryer state and the warrior state. In the warrior state, I was in action mode and focused on what I was trying to achieve. In the worryer state, I was focused on what I was afraid would happen.
"Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes of the goal" - Unknown
And worrying can lead to CSD ("Could, Should, Don't"). But wait a minute. I work in risk management so surely worrying is part of the game and leads to right action. Is it? Or is it a case of assessing risk and devising measures to remediate. There is an emotional (fear) element in worry which can paralyze you.
Yesterday, I flitted between being a warrior and being a worryer.
"So much to ponder, so much that could go wrong, what about this, what about that, I need to do that, hope it's not too late" etc.
Then,
"Let's get it on! Come on! Action! JFDI!"
A complete difference in physiology and energy between the worryer state and the warrior state. In the warrior state, I was in action mode and focused on what I was trying to achieve. In the worryer state, I was focused on what I was afraid would happen.
"Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes of the goal" - Unknown
And worrying can lead to CSD ("Could, Should, Don't"). But wait a minute. I work in risk management so surely worrying is part of the game and leads to right action. Is it? Or is it a case of assessing risk and devising measures to remediate. There is an emotional (fear) element in worry which can paralyze you.
Thursday 26 April 2007
Life
"Your life is an expression of all your thoughts"
- Marcus Aurelius Antonnius (121-180) Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher
An incredible day yesterday, with much interaction and achievement. I set the tone for the day first thing in the morning by reviewing my goals and being grateful for what I already had in my life. That gratitude can also extend into the future - not quite counting your chicks - but being completely committed and so grateful in advance.
I was on my way to an interview at 11:15am. I was on my train trying to cover off negative aspects (what could go wrong) and it was approaching 11:00am. The train stopped at Upper Halliford, I got up and went to the door. I pressed the open button and reached for my ringing phone. I then realised that the door hadn't opened, so I pressed the button again. Still no response. By this time my full attention was on the train door and I was beginning to get concerned. After another unsuccessful press, I made a dash for another door and pressed the open button frantically. By this time, the door was locked and the announcer indicated that the train was moving: "The next station is Shepperton..." I ran through an array of expletives - thankfully there was no one else on the carriage. I was going to be late for my interview. I made a call to warn them that I would be late (one must manage one's agreements) and sat down, absolutely furious. As if to mirror my mental state, the train stopped and sat there for a few minutes. Now it had become a joke - I actually began to laugh and started to think "Well this will make a great ice-breaker story". In the end, I got to Shepperton, hopped in a cab, and arrived at the interview one minute early. The interview went very very well.
- Marcus Aurelius Antonnius (121-180) Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher
An incredible day yesterday, with much interaction and achievement. I set the tone for the day first thing in the morning by reviewing my goals and being grateful for what I already had in my life. That gratitude can also extend into the future - not quite counting your chicks - but being completely committed and so grateful in advance.
I was on my way to an interview at 11:15am. I was on my train trying to cover off negative aspects (what could go wrong) and it was approaching 11:00am. The train stopped at Upper Halliford, I got up and went to the door. I pressed the open button and reached for my ringing phone. I then realised that the door hadn't opened, so I pressed the button again. Still no response. By this time my full attention was on the train door and I was beginning to get concerned. After another unsuccessful press, I made a dash for another door and pressed the open button frantically. By this time, the door was locked and the announcer indicated that the train was moving: "The next station is Shepperton..." I ran through an array of expletives - thankfully there was no one else on the carriage. I was going to be late for my interview. I made a call to warn them that I would be late (one must manage one's agreements) and sat down, absolutely furious. As if to mirror my mental state, the train stopped and sat there for a few minutes. Now it had become a joke - I actually began to laugh and started to think "Well this will make a great ice-breaker story". In the end, I got to Shepperton, hopped in a cab, and arrived at the interview one minute early. The interview went very very well.
Wednesday 25 April 2007
For Want Of...
"For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost; being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail." - Ben Franklin
Had a very hectic day yesterday, and today promises to be even better! My concern at times like these is
1. Am I being busy moving towards my goals? Or am I getting into "the thick of thin things"?
2. Do I have the energy and capability to cope with my schedule?
The first point can be creatively argued; though The Law of Straight Lines (Mark Joyner) would quickly refute any spurious explanations and justifications.
However, it is the second point that is easier to address. Am I taking good care of myself? Am I carrying out regular maintenance? Am I sufficiently fuelled and have enough water? How fast can I go and for how long? How do I feel in the morning when I wake up? How does my car feel in the morning when I start it? Are my skills being developed constantly? Or am I too busy to take good care of myself?
Stephen Covey tells a story of a man who needs to cut down many trees and sets about his task, sawing away nonstop. After a while, he gets tired and his saw gets blunt, but he keeps sawing. His father suggests to him that he takes a break to sharpen his saw and also rest a little. He declines, saying "I don't have time to sharpen my saw, too many trees to cut". So he keeps sawing away, but each tree takes longer and longer to cut down. Ultimately, he slows to a halt...
Sharpening your saw is a vital activity that increases or at least maintains your achievement capacity. The busier and more challenging your life, the sharper your saw needs to be...
Had a very hectic day yesterday, and today promises to be even better! My concern at times like these is
1. Am I being busy moving towards my goals? Or am I getting into "the thick of thin things"?
2. Do I have the energy and capability to cope with my schedule?
The first point can be creatively argued; though The Law of Straight Lines (Mark Joyner) would quickly refute any spurious explanations and justifications.
However, it is the second point that is easier to address. Am I taking good care of myself? Am I carrying out regular maintenance? Am I sufficiently fuelled and have enough water? How fast can I go and for how long? How do I feel in the morning when I wake up? How does my car feel in the morning when I start it? Are my skills being developed constantly? Or am I too busy to take good care of myself?
Stephen Covey tells a story of a man who needs to cut down many trees and sets about his task, sawing away nonstop. After a while, he gets tired and his saw gets blunt, but he keeps sawing. His father suggests to him that he takes a break to sharpen his saw and also rest a little. He declines, saying "I don't have time to sharpen my saw, too many trees to cut". So he keeps sawing away, but each tree takes longer and longer to cut down. Ultimately, he slows to a halt...
Sharpening your saw is a vital activity that increases or at least maintains your achievement capacity. The busier and more challenging your life, the sharper your saw needs to be...
Tuesday 24 April 2007
Vision
"If you do not occupy your life with a big problem, it will simply get filled up by little ones" - Unknown
I was at a meeting last night where I met some extraordinary people. One man that stood out was a wheelchair-bound marketing guru called Geoff Bone. He lost both his legs in an accident in 1972 and decided that he wouldn't let that stop him. He set up and ran marketing businesses that are providing him with the basic platform to tackle big problems and big needs in the world. There are 130 million people disabled people worldwide who don't have access to wheelchairs and therefore drag themselves around on the floor. Geoff decided that that was unacceptable to him, and had the vision of providing a wheelchair to every disabled person in the third world. He took ACTION to put his vision into motion and now runs a project to solve this massive problem. To find out more, visit the website:
http://www.geoffbonewheelchairproject.com
I was at a meeting last night where I met some extraordinary people. One man that stood out was a wheelchair-bound marketing guru called Geoff Bone. He lost both his legs in an accident in 1972 and decided that he wouldn't let that stop him. He set up and ran marketing businesses that are providing him with the basic platform to tackle big problems and big needs in the world. There are 130 million people disabled people worldwide who don't have access to wheelchairs and therefore drag themselves around on the floor. Geoff decided that that was unacceptable to him, and had the vision of providing a wheelchair to every disabled person in the third world. He took ACTION to put his vision into motion and now runs a project to solve this massive problem. To find out more, visit the website:
http://www.geoffbonewheelchairproject.com
Monday 23 April 2007
Your Value
"If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price." – Source Unknown
Reality check in England - we had gotten carried away by the sunshine and began to entertain notions of a tropical Britain. I just look outside the window now and the reassuring drip of rain from a dark and marauding sky has restored faith in the British weather. No BBQ today.
Do we teach people how to treat us, how to respect us? By how we treat ourselves or respect ourselves? When you make a mistake, how do you react? Do you chastise yourself "You idiot!" or worse still continue to beat yourself up long after the error? Or do you forgive yourself, learn from the error and move on? Do you cross your own boundaries? Do you break your own agreements with yourself? Do you regularly tell yourself how bad you are at something? Do you undersell yourself in the workplace? Do you constantly work someone else's plan? On that last point, I can't resist the following quote:
"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much." Jim Rohn
Reality check in England - we had gotten carried away by the sunshine and began to entertain notions of a tropical Britain. I just look outside the window now and the reassuring drip of rain from a dark and marauding sky has restored faith in the British weather. No BBQ today.
Do we teach people how to treat us, how to respect us? By how we treat ourselves or respect ourselves? When you make a mistake, how do you react? Do you chastise yourself "You idiot!" or worse still continue to beat yourself up long after the error? Or do you forgive yourself, learn from the error and move on? Do you cross your own boundaries? Do you break your own agreements with yourself? Do you regularly tell yourself how bad you are at something? Do you undersell yourself in the workplace? Do you constantly work someone else's plan? On that last point, I can't resist the following quote:
"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much." Jim Rohn
Sunday 22 April 2007
Breaking Free from CSD - Spiritual
"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke." - Brendan Francis
Woke up this morning, feeling sluggish. Perhaps the weekend was more indulgent than strictly necessary :-). But perhaps I need to pay more attention to the energy/vitality basics - eat energising food, actually chew it properly, hydrate my body regularly, exercise etc. The morning feeling is my vitality barometer - leaping out of bed is where I prefer to be.
The last and ultimate block to flow and cause of CSD is on the spiritual level - withholding your gift. I believe that everyone is born with a unique gift (unique perhaps in the most subtle way) that enriches the world and contributes a piece to life's great puzzle. Spirituality often gets mistaken for religion. The two can be distinguished as follows:
Spirituality - a sense of connection to the universe and to a higher power
Religion - an organized system of worship that gives a framework to the relationship we have with the universe and with a higher power
The facet of spirituality that we are discussing here is the notion of our role in the universe, and our source of power. I believe that our gift is a key to the source. When someone is working their gift, they are fully alive, creative and powerful. But how do you discover your gift?
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Gil Bailie
Your gift leaves a trail for you to follow - a sort of personal treasure hunt. One set of clues are your strengths. What are your strengths? Activities that make you feel strong. There are several parts to this - you are good at them, you instinctively are drawn to them, you feel great when you re doing them, and you feel fulfilled after doing them. Of course, strengths are made up of talent, skills and knowledge. You may be able to isolate the talent component by remembering what you loved and were good at as a child (your parents/siblings might shed light on this). A wonderful treatment of talent is provided by the strengthsfinder programme by Donald Clifton and Marcus Buckingham (http://www.strengthsfinder.com and http://www.simplystrengths.com). Some people are fortunate enough to just know their calling in life. They can then build skills and knowledge quickly and easily.
When you have this block removed, and you start to bring your gift powerfully and pervasively into your life, the other blocks must begin to fall away and CSD dissolves. A world where everyone was working their gift would be very different from the one we live in today.
"If everyone cleaned in front of their houses, the whole world would be clean" - Mahatma Gandhi
Woke up this morning, feeling sluggish. Perhaps the weekend was more indulgent than strictly necessary :-). But perhaps I need to pay more attention to the energy/vitality basics - eat energising food, actually chew it properly, hydrate my body regularly, exercise etc. The morning feeling is my vitality barometer - leaping out of bed is where I prefer to be.
The last and ultimate block to flow and cause of CSD is on the spiritual level - withholding your gift. I believe that everyone is born with a unique gift (unique perhaps in the most subtle way) that enriches the world and contributes a piece to life's great puzzle. Spirituality often gets mistaken for religion. The two can be distinguished as follows:
Spirituality - a sense of connection to the universe and to a higher power
Religion - an organized system of worship that gives a framework to the relationship we have with the universe and with a higher power
The facet of spirituality that we are discussing here is the notion of our role in the universe, and our source of power. I believe that our gift is a key to the source. When someone is working their gift, they are fully alive, creative and powerful. But how do you discover your gift?
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Gil Bailie
Your gift leaves a trail for you to follow - a sort of personal treasure hunt. One set of clues are your strengths. What are your strengths? Activities that make you feel strong. There are several parts to this - you are good at them, you instinctively are drawn to them, you feel great when you re doing them, and you feel fulfilled after doing them. Of course, strengths are made up of talent, skills and knowledge. You may be able to isolate the talent component by remembering what you loved and were good at as a child (your parents/siblings might shed light on this). A wonderful treatment of talent is provided by the strengthsfinder programme by Donald Clifton and Marcus Buckingham (http://www.strengthsfinder.com and http://www.simplystrengths.com). Some people are fortunate enough to just know their calling in life. They can then build skills and knowledge quickly and easily.
When you have this block removed, and you start to bring your gift powerfully and pervasively into your life, the other blocks must begin to fall away and CSD dissolves. A world where everyone was working their gift would be very different from the one we live in today.
"If everyone cleaned in front of their houses, the whole world would be clean" - Mahatma Gandhi
Breaking Free from CSD - Mental 3
" If you don't know where you're going, chances are you won't get there" - Jim Rohn
It's a glorious morning - summer has truly arrived. I can feel a BBQ coming on.... We were summoned by our neighbour early this morning - the eagerly awaited birth of kittens had happened overnight. A truly modern cat - just had two :-). My son looked me in the eye and said "Daddy, I'm going to buy one". I exchanged a glance with my wife and smiled silently - we didn't want to spoil the moment.
The final block to flow on the mental level is lack of vision. It is literally not having a vision of where you want to go, or even what the possibilities are for you. And in the absence of a conscious vision for your life, the default target is your unconscious vision. This is usually not a very clear picture, and is typically the murky result of years of varied experiences, thoughts, fears and conditioned beliefs. Worse still, the focus is usually on what we don't want rather than what we do. With such a vague target to aim at, is it not surprising that our minds may lack decisive commitment and we stall rather than act? Even when we do act, chances are we shouldn't have - Could, Shouldn't Have, Did. It is much easier to drive fast, or run fast when you can see clearer the path in front of you. Otherwise you may tend to grope around and not necessarily act on possiblities.
So clearly we need to develop a clear vision for our lives. I think this is a critical area that we can explore in detail another time. For now, I think the key point is to consciously imagine our ideal life and then begin to set some specific goals around this vision. This will provide the clarity needed to flow and take action. Take some time to brainstorm what your ideal life would involve and how you would feel about it. Then start to feel that now, visualising regularly. For goal setting, a great way to create crystal-clear goals is to engage a coach or someone who can help you nail down what you really want. Ultimately, it involves discovering your calling in life.
This leads us to the spiritual level.
Till tomorrow.
It's a glorious morning - summer has truly arrived. I can feel a BBQ coming on.... We were summoned by our neighbour early this morning - the eagerly awaited birth of kittens had happened overnight. A truly modern cat - just had two :-). My son looked me in the eye and said "Daddy, I'm going to buy one". I exchanged a glance with my wife and smiled silently - we didn't want to spoil the moment.
The final block to flow on the mental level is lack of vision. It is literally not having a vision of where you want to go, or even what the possibilities are for you. And in the absence of a conscious vision for your life, the default target is your unconscious vision. This is usually not a very clear picture, and is typically the murky result of years of varied experiences, thoughts, fears and conditioned beliefs. Worse still, the focus is usually on what we don't want rather than what we do. With such a vague target to aim at, is it not surprising that our minds may lack decisive commitment and we stall rather than act? Even when we do act, chances are we shouldn't have - Could, Shouldn't Have, Did. It is much easier to drive fast, or run fast when you can see clearer the path in front of you. Otherwise you may tend to grope around and not necessarily act on possiblities.
So clearly we need to develop a clear vision for our lives. I think this is a critical area that we can explore in detail another time. For now, I think the key point is to consciously imagine our ideal life and then begin to set some specific goals around this vision. This will provide the clarity needed to flow and take action. Take some time to brainstorm what your ideal life would involve and how you would feel about it. Then start to feel that now, visualising regularly. For goal setting, a great way to create crystal-clear goals is to engage a coach or someone who can help you nail down what you really want. Ultimately, it involves discovering your calling in life.
This leads us to the spiritual level.
Till tomorrow.
Friday 20 April 2007
Breaking Free of CSD - Mental 2
"Better no start, but if start, better finish" - Chinese proverb
I've just spent a good few minutes fiddling with my cables and router. I had no internet connection (not a good way to start the day), and so had to go through the sequence of diagnostic checks. "Check the cables, check the router etc" I got there in the end, but the process took longer than I had anticipated. In fact, the solution was reboot the router, which should have been obvious in retrospect -dohh! But still, I now have that warm feeling of accomplishment and completion :-).
This brings us to the second of the mental blocks to flow - Incompletion. You start something and do not finish it. So even though you may be consciously focused on something else, this incomplete task, conversation or analysis is carrying on in your mind, taking up space and resources. It is unconscious clutter. You know deep down that there is stuff to be completed, and as the number of incomplete "projects" increases, so does the clutter in your mind and so does your CSD virus. And these don't even have to be critically important projects - again it is the programming of your mind: "I don't finish what I start".
So how do we address this.There are many tasks that are not worth finishing (e.g. some TV programmes :-). In that case, as the Chinese proverb goes, "better no start". I guess the key is that the clutter is mental, which automatically means that it is an internal process. Is it sometimes possible to complete something without actually seeing the task through? Is termination a form of completion? Or is that simply giving up? What's the difference? The key is the residual clutter in your mind. Even if you finish a task (externally), but you keep thinking about it ("I probably should do this as well, maybe I should have changed that, I'm not sure about that part" etc), do you really have completion? If you don't finish a task (externally) but decide that it is not worth investing your time and energy into, and terminate it; are you going to have much residual mental clutter about this?
Incompletion ultimately occurs in the mind, the extent to which the task continues to occupy space and resource. Now, this is very strongly influenced by the external reality (did you actually complete the task?) but is also affected by your decisions (e.g. clear termination). Where flow gets blocked by incompletion is where there is no clear decision to terminate but instead the task just doesn't get completed. This is a symptom of our old friend neglect.
OK, so what to do. Well, firstly, write down your "projects" rather than carrying them round in your head. That keeps them in view and will avoid inadvertent incompletion. You also want to evaluate the value of each one, making a decison on each (e.g. Do it or Dump it). Then you can use your integrity muscle (we covered that yesterday) to drive forward to completion on those projects that you want to do. Those you want to dump, you dump and dump completely - write a dumping letter if you must :-). But dump them with a clear conscience.
If it helps, consider this:
"Saying no is easy, when there is a bigger yes crying out" - Stephen Covey
Dumping projects frees up mental space and resources for the more important ones.
So, decision-making will play some part in this. And these decisions must be aligned with your vision for your life, if you have one.
Till tomorrow.
I've just spent a good few minutes fiddling with my cables and router. I had no internet connection (not a good way to start the day), and so had to go through the sequence of diagnostic checks. "Check the cables, check the router etc" I got there in the end, but the process took longer than I had anticipated. In fact, the solution was reboot the router, which should have been obvious in retrospect -dohh! But still, I now have that warm feeling of accomplishment and completion :-).
This brings us to the second of the mental blocks to flow - Incompletion. You start something and do not finish it. So even though you may be consciously focused on something else, this incomplete task, conversation or analysis is carrying on in your mind, taking up space and resources. It is unconscious clutter. You know deep down that there is stuff to be completed, and as the number of incomplete "projects" increases, so does the clutter in your mind and so does your CSD virus. And these don't even have to be critically important projects - again it is the programming of your mind: "I don't finish what I start".
So how do we address this.There are many tasks that are not worth finishing (e.g. some TV programmes :-). In that case, as the Chinese proverb goes, "better no start". I guess the key is that the clutter is mental, which automatically means that it is an internal process. Is it sometimes possible to complete something without actually seeing the task through? Is termination a form of completion? Or is that simply giving up? What's the difference? The key is the residual clutter in your mind. Even if you finish a task (externally), but you keep thinking about it ("I probably should do this as well, maybe I should have changed that, I'm not sure about that part" etc), do you really have completion? If you don't finish a task (externally) but decide that it is not worth investing your time and energy into, and terminate it; are you going to have much residual mental clutter about this?
Incompletion ultimately occurs in the mind, the extent to which the task continues to occupy space and resource. Now, this is very strongly influenced by the external reality (did you actually complete the task?) but is also affected by your decisions (e.g. clear termination). Where flow gets blocked by incompletion is where there is no clear decision to terminate but instead the task just doesn't get completed. This is a symptom of our old friend neglect.
OK, so what to do. Well, firstly, write down your "projects" rather than carrying them round in your head. That keeps them in view and will avoid inadvertent incompletion. You also want to evaluate the value of each one, making a decison on each (e.g. Do it or Dump it). Then you can use your integrity muscle (we covered that yesterday) to drive forward to completion on those projects that you want to do. Those you want to dump, you dump and dump completely - write a dumping letter if you must :-). But dump them with a clear conscience.
If it helps, consider this:
"Saying no is easy, when there is a bigger yes crying out" - Stephen Covey
Dumping projects frees up mental space and resources for the more important ones.
So, decision-making will play some part in this. And these decisions must be aligned with your vision for your life, if you have one.
Till tomorrow.
Breaking Free from CSD - Mental 1
"Only they who fulfil their duty in everyday matters will fulfil them on great occasions"
--C. Kingsley
We've looked at removing the blocks to flow at the physical and emotional levels in our quest to move away from CSD "Could, Should, Don't". At the mental level, there are three main blocks to flow:
1. Broken Agreements
2. Incompletion
3. Lack of Vision
Today, we can focus on Broken Agreements. What are broken agreements?
I say "I'll phone you tomorrow" and I don't. I say I'll send you some information" and I don't. I say "I'll meet you at 10pm" and I'm 15 minutes late. I say " I'll complete a piece of work by Friday" and I don't. I say "I'll achieve this goal" and I don't. A broken agreement undermines the power of your word. You are programming your mind to say your word is not creative. It doesn't mean much and certainly doesn't create much. Why? Because you said you would phone me and you didn't etc. It can seem quite trivial, but it has a powerful effect on one's life.
I call it the integrity muscle. How strong is your integrity muscle? When you declare that you will do something, does that guarantee anything? Is your word powerful and creative? I have one exercise called the Ten Commitments. I write down ten tasks I'm going to do today and I do them. They can be as easy as you like, and certainly in the early days, it is best to keep them easy to achieve, because you are staking your integrity on them. You must get them all done, not because they are important to do in themselves, but because you SAID you were going to do them.
Over time, your integrity muscle grows stronger and stronger and you can start to put more challenging items on your Ten Commitments list. The power of this is staggering, because ultimately you will be building an unstoppable capacity to achieve your goals simply by declaring that you will do something and letting your super integrity muscle work its magic. This is very exciting because the future looks brighter and brighter.
I write my list first thing in the morning - you might choose to write it the night before. It is not a to-do list. I have a separate list of things to do. The Ten Commitment list is an integrity-building list. Quite different (though some items can be on both). And of critical importance. But it does require discipline and a desire to build that integrity muscle.
Another way to do what you say and keep agreements could be to engage other people (e.g. a close friend, or a coach) you respect and be accountable to them. The key is to walk your talk and do what you say. Let the value of your word rise.
We'll look at Incompletion tomorrow.
--C. Kingsley
We've looked at removing the blocks to flow at the physical and emotional levels in our quest to move away from CSD "Could, Should, Don't". At the mental level, there are three main blocks to flow:
1. Broken Agreements
2. Incompletion
3. Lack of Vision
Today, we can focus on Broken Agreements. What are broken agreements?
I say "I'll phone you tomorrow" and I don't. I say I'll send you some information" and I don't. I say "I'll meet you at 10pm" and I'm 15 minutes late. I say " I'll complete a piece of work by Friday" and I don't. I say "I'll achieve this goal" and I don't. A broken agreement undermines the power of your word. You are programming your mind to say your word is not creative. It doesn't mean much and certainly doesn't create much. Why? Because you said you would phone me and you didn't etc. It can seem quite trivial, but it has a powerful effect on one's life.
I call it the integrity muscle. How strong is your integrity muscle? When you declare that you will do something, does that guarantee anything? Is your word powerful and creative? I have one exercise called the Ten Commitments. I write down ten tasks I'm going to do today and I do them. They can be as easy as you like, and certainly in the early days, it is best to keep them easy to achieve, because you are staking your integrity on them. You must get them all done, not because they are important to do in themselves, but because you SAID you were going to do them.
Over time, your integrity muscle grows stronger and stronger and you can start to put more challenging items on your Ten Commitments list. The power of this is staggering, because ultimately you will be building an unstoppable capacity to achieve your goals simply by declaring that you will do something and letting your super integrity muscle work its magic. This is very exciting because the future looks brighter and brighter.
I write my list first thing in the morning - you might choose to write it the night before. It is not a to-do list. I have a separate list of things to do. The Ten Commitment list is an integrity-building list. Quite different (though some items can be on both). And of critical importance. But it does require discipline and a desire to build that integrity muscle.
Another way to do what you say and keep agreements could be to engage other people (e.g. a close friend, or a coach) you respect and be accountable to them. The key is to walk your talk and do what you say. Let the value of your word rise.
We'll look at Incompletion tomorrow.
Wednesday 18 April 2007
Breaking Free from CSD - Emotional
"First we make our habits, then our habits make us" - John Dryden
This quote would also have been apt for yesterday's musings on the physical blocks to flow. I've been given a 10 minute break by my 4-year old son - we're carrying out complex train track engineering (he's just taken delivery of an extension to his Thomas The Tank Engine train set) - while he completes a critical section of tracking and formulates his strategy :-). I'm building the habit of creative activity with my son in the morning, before I go to work and before he goes to school. This habit is a seed that hopefully will bear many fruit. Another habit could be for him to watch TV in the morning, but I'm not sure that we would want that harvest. On cue, he has just summoned me back - a bridge needs building....Right, we're back.
Anyway, habits form a key part of the journey away from CSD ("Could, Should, Don't") and into Flow (JFDI). We have already seen the power of habits on the physical level.
On the emotional level, there are two main blocks to flow:
- unresolved conflicts
- unexpressed feelings
Unresolved conflicts clutter your emotional space. You have had an argument or unpleasant incident with your spouse, partner, parent, child, friend, colleague or anyone of any significance in your life. And you let the hostility and resentment fester. The following was one of my first quotes:
" To get upset is human. To stay upset is irresponsible" - Bobo West
This becomes a block to your flow and a source of inertia and CSD. You need to bring closure to conflicts, one way or another - either by reconciling your differences (apologising etc) or agreeing to disagree. It doesn't take two, it just requires you. You can even write a letter to the other party (you don't even need to send it) - that will help bring about closure and conflict resolution for you. Sometimes the conflict is purely internal - the same approach works.
The other block is unexpressed feelings. You should have told or shown someone how you felt. Y are in a difficult conversation and you don't say what you really meant to. You stifle a strong emotion. You don't allow yourself to flow emotionally. Now, it's not always appropriate to express your feelings in the moment :-). But stifling your feelings tends to block your flow. What if you made a mental note to postpone your reaction. I've tried it, not always easy but works wonderfully. The quick mental note "I'll react to this fully later", allows you to carry on in a situation without the burden of emotional clutter. You've scheduled your rant, your explosion of rage or your profound hurt. You almost start to look forward to it, like a little treat you've laid on for yourself - a little indulgence. A little smile may even start to play on your lips. The negative feeling begins to lose its power. And for those feelings that, when expressed, do not add value, you begin to express them less and release them more. The Sedona Method (http://www.sedona.com) is one technique for releasing negative feelings, rather than expressing them destructively.
So by resolving conflicts and expressing feelings (productively) you begin to clear the emotional clutter and start to flow more. This makes it difficult for CSD.
That's when we start to go mental.
Till tomorrow.
This quote would also have been apt for yesterday's musings on the physical blocks to flow. I've been given a 10 minute break by my 4-year old son - we're carrying out complex train track engineering (he's just taken delivery of an extension to his Thomas The Tank Engine train set) - while he completes a critical section of tracking and formulates his strategy :-). I'm building the habit of creative activity with my son in the morning, before I go to work and before he goes to school. This habit is a seed that hopefully will bear many fruit. Another habit could be for him to watch TV in the morning, but I'm not sure that we would want that harvest. On cue, he has just summoned me back - a bridge needs building....Right, we're back.
Anyway, habits form a key part of the journey away from CSD ("Could, Should, Don't") and into Flow (JFDI). We have already seen the power of habits on the physical level.
On the emotional level, there are two main blocks to flow:
- unresolved conflicts
- unexpressed feelings
Unresolved conflicts clutter your emotional space. You have had an argument or unpleasant incident with your spouse, partner, parent, child, friend, colleague or anyone of any significance in your life. And you let the hostility and resentment fester. The following was one of my first quotes:
" To get upset is human. To stay upset is irresponsible" - Bobo West
This becomes a block to your flow and a source of inertia and CSD. You need to bring closure to conflicts, one way or another - either by reconciling your differences (apologising etc) or agreeing to disagree. It doesn't take two, it just requires you. You can even write a letter to the other party (you don't even need to send it) - that will help bring about closure and conflict resolution for you. Sometimes the conflict is purely internal - the same approach works.
The other block is unexpressed feelings. You should have told or shown someone how you felt. Y are in a difficult conversation and you don't say what you really meant to. You stifle a strong emotion. You don't allow yourself to flow emotionally. Now, it's not always appropriate to express your feelings in the moment :-). But stifling your feelings tends to block your flow. What if you made a mental note to postpone your reaction. I've tried it, not always easy but works wonderfully. The quick mental note "I'll react to this fully later", allows you to carry on in a situation without the burden of emotional clutter. You've scheduled your rant, your explosion of rage or your profound hurt. You almost start to look forward to it, like a little treat you've laid on for yourself - a little indulgence. A little smile may even start to play on your lips. The negative feeling begins to lose its power. And for those feelings that, when expressed, do not add value, you begin to express them less and release them more. The Sedona Method (http://www.sedona.com) is one technique for releasing negative feelings, rather than expressing them destructively.
So by resolving conflicts and expressing feelings (productively) you begin to clear the emotional clutter and start to flow more. This makes it difficult for CSD.
That's when we start to go mental.
Till tomorrow.
Tuesday 17 April 2007
Breaking Free from CSD - Physical
We have identified CSD ("Could, Should, Don't") as the major source of neglect in our lives and proposed a zero tolerance approach to tackling clutter on four levels - Physical, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual.
On the physical level, we have already mentioned external clutter, which includes tidiness, cleanliness and order, as well as maintenance e.g. of equipment, furniture etc. If these simple things are allowed to fall into neglect, then it is that much easier for the CSD virus to take hold. However, external clutter may simply be a reflection of internal clutter. On the physical level, internal clutter relates to our health and vitality - the tidiness, cleanliness and order in our bodies.
What happens if we neglect our bodies? Well, it's a bit like neglecting your car (though many people do take better care of their cars than of their bodies!). It starts to develop a few problems that need fixing an an increasingly frequent basis. It begins to perform less effectively. You may begin to experience breakdowns. You may no longer want to risk it on long journeys because it is problematic. It degrades and depreciates fast!. The same thing happens to our bodies. Deprived of regular maintenance (e.g. good diet, fluids & exercise), the body begins to perform less effectively and may succumb to illness more often. Your energy level drops and you may not have the inclination to take things on or indeed finish things off. You could, you should but you don't.
So simply by developing habits of body maintenance (diet, fluids & exercise), you begin to transform your physical environment and make it uninhabitable for the CSD virus. You are healthy and full of vital energy - this means you have more "uptime". And when you're up you're up! You get into JFDI-mode - you just do it. You have the physical energy to drive towards your goals.
But is physical energy sufficient? Is addressing clutter on the physical level enough to stop CSD from taking over our lives? Well, not quite, but we have taken a massive step forward and have established the basis of discipline and raw energy.
Now we are ready to get emotional!
Till tomorrow.
On the physical level, we have already mentioned external clutter, which includes tidiness, cleanliness and order, as well as maintenance e.g. of equipment, furniture etc. If these simple things are allowed to fall into neglect, then it is that much easier for the CSD virus to take hold. However, external clutter may simply be a reflection of internal clutter. On the physical level, internal clutter relates to our health and vitality - the tidiness, cleanliness and order in our bodies.
What happens if we neglect our bodies? Well, it's a bit like neglecting your car (though many people do take better care of their cars than of their bodies!). It starts to develop a few problems that need fixing an an increasingly frequent basis. It begins to perform less effectively. You may begin to experience breakdowns. You may no longer want to risk it on long journeys because it is problematic. It degrades and depreciates fast!. The same thing happens to our bodies. Deprived of regular maintenance (e.g. good diet, fluids & exercise), the body begins to perform less effectively and may succumb to illness more often. Your energy level drops and you may not have the inclination to take things on or indeed finish things off. You could, you should but you don't.
So simply by developing habits of body maintenance (diet, fluids & exercise), you begin to transform your physical environment and make it uninhabitable for the CSD virus. You are healthy and full of vital energy - this means you have more "uptime". And when you're up you're up! You get into JFDI-mode - you just do it. You have the physical energy to drive towards your goals.
But is physical energy sufficient? Is addressing clutter on the physical level enough to stop CSD from taking over our lives? Well, not quite, but we have taken a massive step forward and have established the basis of discipline and raw energy.
Now we are ready to get emotional!
Till tomorrow.
Monday 16 April 2007
Breaking Free from CSD
"How you do anything is how you do everything" - Unknown
We've identified the CSD (Could, Should, Don't) virus as the major source of inaction and neglect. How do we stop it from spreading like wildfire though our lives? How do we eliminate it or reduce it to a manageable level, where our dreams are not threatened?
I am beginning to think that the key to this is zero tolerance. Major Giuliani in New York reduced burgeoning crime by targeting even the most trivial misdemeanours. The theory here is that if you prevent even the little viruses from taking hold, then the big ones will find it more difficult too. So what if we began to form habits of discipline that targeted the lowest levels of neglect? What if we gradually eliminated all the small CSD viruses and created an unattractive environment for CSD in our mind? OK, that sounds good, but how exactly?
I'm thinking, what are the silly little things that are clear symptoms of neglect that we can tackle easily? What about tidying up? The bedroom, the garage (usually a good one), the desk, the inbox. the kitchen, the bookshelf etc are all simple starting points. I have experienced tremendous flow of energy after tidying up and this then has allowed me to tackle bigger CSD viruses. You can also set up tidiness-maintenance habits, which preserve order.
Of course, the issue goes much further than mere external clutter. One needs to address internal clutter also. There are four levels at which this operates
1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Mental
4. Spiritual
The journey away from CSD and into Flow involves removing the blocks at these four levels. We will explore each one in turn - building zero tolerance habits that create a CSD-free life.
Let's get physical tomorrow!
We've identified the CSD (Could, Should, Don't) virus as the major source of inaction and neglect. How do we stop it from spreading like wildfire though our lives? How do we eliminate it or reduce it to a manageable level, where our dreams are not threatened?
I am beginning to think that the key to this is zero tolerance. Major Giuliani in New York reduced burgeoning crime by targeting even the most trivial misdemeanours. The theory here is that if you prevent even the little viruses from taking hold, then the big ones will find it more difficult too. So what if we began to form habits of discipline that targeted the lowest levels of neglect? What if we gradually eliminated all the small CSD viruses and created an unattractive environment for CSD in our mind? OK, that sounds good, but how exactly?
I'm thinking, what are the silly little things that are clear symptoms of neglect that we can tackle easily? What about tidying up? The bedroom, the garage (usually a good one), the desk, the inbox. the kitchen, the bookshelf etc are all simple starting points. I have experienced tremendous flow of energy after tidying up and this then has allowed me to tackle bigger CSD viruses. You can also set up tidiness-maintenance habits, which preserve order.
Of course, the issue goes much further than mere external clutter. One needs to address internal clutter also. There are four levels at which this operates
1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Mental
4. Spiritual
The journey away from CSD and into Flow involves removing the blocks at these four levels. We will explore each one in turn - building zero tolerance habits that create a CSD-free life.
Let's get physical tomorrow!
Sunday 15 April 2007
Neglect
"Neglect is the thief of dreams, a virus that infects your whole life, stealing your energy, dulling your intellect and poisoning your passion" - Bobo West
I used to make up quotes, I was a collector and still am. But I never really explored them and got all the juice out of them. I was too active! Now that I have a bad back (probably through neglect?!), there is an opportunity to reflect a little more :-).
I suspect that neglect is a virus called CSD. The great Jim Rohn warned of the perils of neglect and summed up the problems of people in three words - "could, should, don't". That's exactly how CSD manifests itself: you could do it, you should do it, but you don't do it. Is that not the source of underachievement in almost every area? You could do 10 minutes exercise every day, you should do 10 minutes exercise everyday, you don't do 10 minutes exercise every day. CSD.
You could learn something new everyday, you should learn something new everyday, you don't learn something new everyday. CSD. You could take an action step towards your goal every day, you should take an actuon step towards your goal every day, you don't take an action step towards your goal every day. CSD.
The result is that you may have dreams but take no action towards accomplishing them despite having the capablity and "motivation" to do so. CSD affects your whole life by undermining your internal integrity - the power of your word. Your energy levels drop under the weight of the inertia and your mind begins to dull without the momentum of accomplishment. Finally, you begin to give up those dreams . . . .
Although the could and the should can be relatively easily enhanced by personal development, it seems to be the don't that is requires considerable effort to overcome. That's why, despite having lots of knowledge and intelligence, many people underachieve. It's the doing that counts, the taking action. JFDI.
So that's where energy needs to focused - how do we become action-takers? We will explore this further tomorrow.
I used to make up quotes, I was a collector and still am. But I never really explored them and got all the juice out of them. I was too active! Now that I have a bad back (probably through neglect?!), there is an opportunity to reflect a little more :-).
I suspect that neglect is a virus called CSD. The great Jim Rohn warned of the perils of neglect and summed up the problems of people in three words - "could, should, don't". That's exactly how CSD manifests itself: you could do it, you should do it, but you don't do it. Is that not the source of underachievement in almost every area? You could do 10 minutes exercise every day, you should do 10 minutes exercise everyday, you don't do 10 minutes exercise every day. CSD.
You could learn something new everyday, you should learn something new everyday, you don't learn something new everyday. CSD. You could take an action step towards your goal every day, you should take an actuon step towards your goal every day, you don't take an action step towards your goal every day. CSD.
The result is that you may have dreams but take no action towards accomplishing them despite having the capablity and "motivation" to do so. CSD affects your whole life by undermining your internal integrity - the power of your word. Your energy levels drop under the weight of the inertia and your mind begins to dull without the momentum of accomplishment. Finally, you begin to give up those dreams . . . .
Although the could and the should can be relatively easily enhanced by personal development, it seems to be the don't that is requires considerable effort to overcome. That's why, despite having lots of knowledge and intelligence, many people underachieve. It's the doing that counts, the taking action. JFDI.
So that's where energy needs to focused - how do we become action-takers? We will explore this further tomorrow.
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