Today is Easter Sunday and it has been a very eventful day of celebration and festivity. A very brief pause to quickly reflect on the role of habits in our lives. It has been suggested that 90% of what we do is habitual. And most of our habits were formed unconsciously i.e. we did not choose them consciously. That is quite a sobering thought as we strive to extol the virtues of our humanity and free will. It seems that we are more like mechanical robots and automatons than we would like to believe. But there is tremendous opportunity here too.
- "Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them."
Habits are very powerful indeed. It is like having an automated process that performs a task on your behalf, without your conscious intervention. Take brushing your teeth in the morning. Not something you want to dwell on or make decisions about. You just do it. Every morning it happens. Period. And there are countless other such tasks being performed automatically, freeing up your mind to focus on other more important or demanding items. Or, at least, this is the case if you manage your habits. Of course, you could have a portfolio of bad habits that could undermine you. The key is that you are effectively enlisting the help of an automated processing unit to take on the important drudgery of your life. So far we are focusing on physical habits.
The other key parts of the habit puzzle are the behavioural and mental habits, which play a very significant role in your life. Again, by getting to grips with these, initially consciously enforcing and reinforcing through repetition a desired pattern, you can establish a virtuous cycle that nourishes you. It also requires less and less conscious effort as it becomes a habit. Some people are loathe to form habits because they fear that these will condemn their lives to routine and boring predictability. The exact reverse is true. Having a solid platform of life-enhancing habits frees you up to pursue a life of passion and adventure. It is like the transition from the hunter-gatherer lifestyle, where everyone was fully engaged in hunting for food and had no time to pursue any other interests, to the agrarian or farming lifestyle, where food supply was guaranteed by an increasing smaller subset of the population, freeing up the others to pursue other activities. This is the transition that can take place within us...
"First we make our habits, then our habits make us"
John Dryden
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Habits
Monday, 17 March 2008
Grief
"Grief is the agony of an instant, the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life. "
Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 - 1881)
What bliss - the unapologetic heat of Accra, the irresistible taste of my mother's cooking and the general restfulness of this holiday. Amidst all of this, there is the sense that grief abounds, with stories of deaths and injuries being told with increasing frequency. The inevitable consequence of these tragic events is grief. When we lose something or someone, we grieve. We may grieve for days for months or for years. Some people may actually grieve for the rest of their lives. With grief, there is no right and wrong. You grieve until you have stopped grieving.
Or is that really so?
What is the effect of grief on your life, on the people around you, on the people you love you, who depend on you? Over a few weeks or months, even full-scale grief can be absorbed and indeed, it may be cathartic to let the grief take its course. When the grief persists at full strength for a longer and longer period, then there may be something else at play. Our minds have a tendency to become comfortable in grief, to almost savour the pain, the delicious feeling of tragedy and victimhood, the attention and sympathy that we get, the sense that we have been dealt a cruel blow by life, a sense of being a protagonist in a drama. It is a paradox, but there is a trap in grief, one that is so close to a natural, honourable human experience that it is very easy to fall into and difficult not to sympathise with. But this may well be what is termed a life blunder...
"While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. "
Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 - 1784)
Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 - 1881)
What bliss - the unapologetic heat of Accra, the irresistible taste of my mother's cooking and the general restfulness of this holiday. Amidst all of this, there is the sense that grief abounds, with stories of deaths and injuries being told with increasing frequency. The inevitable consequence of these tragic events is grief. When we lose something or someone, we grieve. We may grieve for days for months or for years. Some people may actually grieve for the rest of their lives. With grief, there is no right and wrong. You grieve until you have stopped grieving.
Or is that really so?
What is the effect of grief on your life, on the people around you, on the people you love you, who depend on you? Over a few weeks or months, even full-scale grief can be absorbed and indeed, it may be cathartic to let the grief take its course. When the grief persists at full strength for a longer and longer period, then there may be something else at play. Our minds have a tendency to become comfortable in grief, to almost savour the pain, the delicious feeling of tragedy and victimhood, the attention and sympathy that we get, the sense that we have been dealt a cruel blow by life, a sense of being a protagonist in a drama. It is a paradox, but there is a trap in grief, one that is so close to a natural, honourable human experience that it is very easy to fall into and difficult not to sympathise with. But this may well be what is termed a life blunder...
"While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. "
Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 - 1784)
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Gratitude
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. "
Cicero, 'Pro Plancio,' 54 B.C.Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)
As I prepare to depart for the airport this wet & windy morning, with the prospect of arriving in a much warmer environment later on today, I must pause to be thankful for all I have and all I am. There is no limit to how much gratitude we can feel - it is just a matter of focus. There is so much to be grateful for; and gratitude creates the space for more gifts to enter your life. It is, in a lot of ways, a cause rather than an effect. So why do we not feel gratitude more often and more deeply? Why are we often stifled in our gratefulness? Do we not wish to keep the gifts flowing? Or are we simply not aware of all the gifts bestowed on us?
"It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. "
Roberto Benigni, in NewsweekItalian actor, comedian, and director (1952 - )
Cicero, 'Pro Plancio,' 54 B.C.Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)
As I prepare to depart for the airport this wet & windy morning, with the prospect of arriving in a much warmer environment later on today, I must pause to be thankful for all I have and all I am. There is no limit to how much gratitude we can feel - it is just a matter of focus. There is so much to be grateful for; and gratitude creates the space for more gifts to enter your life. It is, in a lot of ways, a cause rather than an effect. So why do we not feel gratitude more often and more deeply? Why are we often stifled in our gratefulness? Do we not wish to keep the gifts flowing? Or are we simply not aware of all the gifts bestowed on us?
"It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. "
Roberto Benigni, in NewsweekItalian actor, comedian, and director (1952 - )
Saturday, 1 March 2008
Goals
"It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it. "
Arnold Toynbee, English historian & historical philosopher (1889 - 1975)
Another week flies by, and I have one more week to go before I start my travels. The great thing is that the blitz moments are becoming more regular. That feeling of "clock slowing" that arises at high speed is occurring more often. Albert Einstein's concept of relativity seems more tangible. A new time paradigm is emerging.
We spoke last week about what it was all for, the purpose of activity and achievement. This week, I want to delve into some specifics. So, we have a gift and we have a purpose. Now what? We need to crystallize and actualize our gifts through setting some goals. Conventional wisdom advises that we make goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely(http://www.topachievement.com/smart.html). This works and can lead to good results - it is the basis of most personal development and coaching initiatives. But how about an alternative possibility - the possibility that by aiming for the stars, you can end up on the moon?
We have already discussed blitz at some length, but the concept of driving very fast and subsequently slowing down conveys this point. Legal considerations aside (this is purely theoretical), imagine that you want to be able to feel comfortable at 150 miles an hour. What if you were to be driven at 200 miles an hour for a while. Initially you would be very uncomfortable, perhaps even hysterical. Your breathing would be disrupted and your heart would be pounding. This could be fear or it could be thrill. With time, you might feel slightly better albeit still uncomfortable. The point is this. When the speed is reduced to 150 miles an hour, IT FEELS SLOW. I propose that the same applies to goals.
If you aim beyond the goal that you are striving for, you raise your game accordingly. Your mindset and perceptions change in the same way that they change in the speeding car or in a blitz chess match with 20 seconds left on your clock. If there is a piece of work to be completed in three hours and you aim for that, you might achieve it within the three hours; but it is possible that you may overrun slightly. However, what if you aimed to complete the work within two hours or perhaps even one hour?!
Parkinson's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson's_law) states that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." Are our goals potential victims of Parkinson's Law? "Limitation expands so as to fill the space left by your goals". We have all experienced a simple form of this phenomenon when we are about to go away on holiday. On that last day, we often accomplish much more than we normally would. The same might apply to the last day of a big deadline. Why? Well, because we set more ambitious goals in these situations.
So, in summary, we need to set clear goals but we might more likely attain them if we actually aim beyond them and so tap into more of our power. The alternative is to leave space in our lives that limitation and procrastination may readily fill...
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. "
Robert Heinlein, US science fiction author (1907 - 1988)
Arnold Toynbee, English historian & historical philosopher (1889 - 1975)
Another week flies by, and I have one more week to go before I start my travels. The great thing is that the blitz moments are becoming more regular. That feeling of "clock slowing" that arises at high speed is occurring more often. Albert Einstein's concept of relativity seems more tangible. A new time paradigm is emerging.
We spoke last week about what it was all for, the purpose of activity and achievement. This week, I want to delve into some specifics. So, we have a gift and we have a purpose. Now what? We need to crystallize and actualize our gifts through setting some goals. Conventional wisdom advises that we make goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely(http://www.topachievement.com/smart.html). This works and can lead to good results - it is the basis of most personal development and coaching initiatives. But how about an alternative possibility - the possibility that by aiming for the stars, you can end up on the moon?
We have already discussed blitz at some length, but the concept of driving very fast and subsequently slowing down conveys this point. Legal considerations aside (this is purely theoretical), imagine that you want to be able to feel comfortable at 150 miles an hour. What if you were to be driven at 200 miles an hour for a while. Initially you would be very uncomfortable, perhaps even hysterical. Your breathing would be disrupted and your heart would be pounding. This could be fear or it could be thrill. With time, you might feel slightly better albeit still uncomfortable. The point is this. When the speed is reduced to 150 miles an hour, IT FEELS SLOW. I propose that the same applies to goals.
If you aim beyond the goal that you are striving for, you raise your game accordingly. Your mindset and perceptions change in the same way that they change in the speeding car or in a blitz chess match with 20 seconds left on your clock. If there is a piece of work to be completed in three hours and you aim for that, you might achieve it within the three hours; but it is possible that you may overrun slightly. However, what if you aimed to complete the work within two hours or perhaps even one hour?!
Parkinson's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson's_law) states that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." Are our goals potential victims of Parkinson's Law? "Limitation expands so as to fill the space left by your goals". We have all experienced a simple form of this phenomenon when we are about to go away on holiday. On that last day, we often accomplish much more than we normally would. The same might apply to the last day of a big deadline. Why? Well, because we set more ambitious goals in these situations.
So, in summary, we need to set clear goals but we might more likely attain them if we actually aim beyond them and so tap into more of our power. The alternative is to leave space in our lives that limitation and procrastination may readily fill...
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. "
Robert Heinlein, US science fiction author (1907 - 1988)
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Giving
"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. "
Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 - 1965)
It's very fortunate that I am exploring the concept of blitz - I need it! Indeed, such is the growing intensity of demands on my time that I suspect that this is part of my research. I am being forced to validate and discover the essence of the blitz concept and show how it can be applied in practice.
Before we go racing off again, it is worth reflecting on what it is all for - ultimately. Why do I want to accomplish all those tasks quicker, achieve all those goals, meet all those demands etc? Why do I want to climb the ladder of achievement faster? Well, I guess, it depends on whether the ladder is leaning against a worthwhile wall - that leads to something I will ultimately value. Why do we work? Well, let me recount an interesting dream I had a number of years ago.
In this dream, I was speaking to my grandfather. He said to me:
"Bobo, why do people work so hard?"
I said "Well, because they need to make money and ..."
"Why do they need to make money?"
"To have the things they need and also to have the things they want"
"In other words, to survive comfortably?"
"Well, yes, I guess you could say that"
"Until?..."
"I guess until the end of their lives"
Grandad smiled. " Ok, so let's summarise. Most people work hard, go through a fair amount of stress, miss out on the true joys of life etc, in order to survive comfortably until they die."
I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, some people love their work! Some people are able to live life fully (work and play, relationships etc)"
"Yes, but they are a small minority. The majority are surviving comfortably until they die. And the rat race is to see how comfortably you can survive until you die"
"So, in a sense, we are trying to solve the problem of being alive, by putting in tremendous energy to survive comfortably until the inevitable".
I was feeling pretty depressed at this point.
"Yes, and if that is truly the situation, you could avoid the whole problem by not being alive in the first place!"
"So, life has to be more than surviving comfortably until you die."
"Yes, your life must serve some purpose, must bring something lasting into the world. And you have to find what it is you can bring - we all have a gift"
This dream was a turning point in my life, and came to me during a period of great turmoil. It gets to the heart of the matter of living, as does the simple quote by Sir Winston Churchill. Surviving comfortably is an important wall to lean your ladder against, and the comforts can be great fun in themselves, but this will only take you so far - the wall is not high enough to reach the destination of deep fulfilment. Bringing your gift into the world is a wall that has no limit, and ultimately is what makes life truly worth living.
The key thing I have learnt is to find out what your gift is and bring that essence powerfully into WHATEVER you do. When you do that, you tap into something very special indeed - the piece of the jigsaw that links us all. And, in that place, you become present enough to experience it, to truly live...
"Behold those wretched souls who tiptoe through life, hoping to make it safely to death" - anon
Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 - 1965)
It's very fortunate that I am exploring the concept of blitz - I need it! Indeed, such is the growing intensity of demands on my time that I suspect that this is part of my research. I am being forced to validate and discover the essence of the blitz concept and show how it can be applied in practice.
Before we go racing off again, it is worth reflecting on what it is all for - ultimately. Why do I want to accomplish all those tasks quicker, achieve all those goals, meet all those demands etc? Why do I want to climb the ladder of achievement faster? Well, I guess, it depends on whether the ladder is leaning against a worthwhile wall - that leads to something I will ultimately value. Why do we work? Well, let me recount an interesting dream I had a number of years ago.
In this dream, I was speaking to my grandfather. He said to me:
"Bobo, why do people work so hard?"
I said "Well, because they need to make money and ..."
"Why do they need to make money?"
"To have the things they need and also to have the things they want"
"In other words, to survive comfortably?"
"Well, yes, I guess you could say that"
"Until?..."
"I guess until the end of their lives"
Grandad smiled. " Ok, so let's summarise. Most people work hard, go through a fair amount of stress, miss out on the true joys of life etc, in order to survive comfortably until they die."
I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, some people love their work! Some people are able to live life fully (work and play, relationships etc)"
"Yes, but they are a small minority. The majority are surviving comfortably until they die. And the rat race is to see how comfortably you can survive until you die"
"So, in a sense, we are trying to solve the problem of being alive, by putting in tremendous energy to survive comfortably until the inevitable".
I was feeling pretty depressed at this point.
"Yes, and if that is truly the situation, you could avoid the whole problem by not being alive in the first place!"
"So, life has to be more than surviving comfortably until you die."
"Yes, your life must serve some purpose, must bring something lasting into the world. And you have to find what it is you can bring - we all have a gift"
This dream was a turning point in my life, and came to me during a period of great turmoil. It gets to the heart of the matter of living, as does the simple quote by Sir Winston Churchill. Surviving comfortably is an important wall to lean your ladder against, and the comforts can be great fun in themselves, but this will only take you so far - the wall is not high enough to reach the destination of deep fulfilment. Bringing your gift into the world is a wall that has no limit, and ultimately is what makes life truly worth living.
The key thing I have learnt is to find out what your gift is and bring that essence powerfully into WHATEVER you do. When you do that, you tap into something very special indeed - the piece of the jigsaw that links us all. And, in that place, you become present enough to experience it, to truly live...
"Behold those wretched souls who tiptoe through life, hoping to make it safely to death" - anon
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Genius
Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
Edgard Varese, US (French-born) composer (1883 - 1965)
A week of oscillation between laser-like focus in blitz mode to headless chicken distraction in snail mode. The great truth, demonstrated time and again, is that blitz mode does expand time and create new possibilities. The trick is to sustain it and attract it more often. This applies not just to work but to all aspects of life where accomplishment is the order of the day. It shall form the thrust of my research over the coming weeks. The other aspect of blitz mode is that it appears to connect us with our genius...
There is something about high speed mental activity that appears to ultimately release a higher level of performance. Speed readers experience an increased comprehension as they read faster. Blitz chess players achieve a greater understanding of the position than sometimes occurs in normal chess. That, in itself, is surprising, given that chess is a game of calculation and evaluating various sequences of moves and possibilities. So why should going faster make any difference? Why, more pertinently, could things possibly get better?
Well, let's return to the speed reading example. Part of the magic of speed reading is that you begin to engage the dormant parts of your brain, which are usually not engaged during normal reading. You have plenty of spare capacity to think about other things, or get distracted. When you are speed reading, there is no capacity for anything else. When you are driving really really fast, there is no capacity for putting in a new CD or even adjusting the climate control - your attention is totally on the road ahead. So that is one element - focus. However, I suspect that a deeper more powerful aspect is also at play...
Throughout your day, your body is performing millions of tasks seamlessly, keeping you alive and safe. All of this occurs without your conscious attention. You may also have noticed that after much practice at something you become able to do it "without thinking". Stephen Covey talked about four levels of performance - unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and unconscious competence. Unconscious competence is the highest level precisely because you are engaging a much more powerful computer - your unconscious mind.
The unconscious mind is like a child with super powers. It needs direction from an adult, but can achieve far more than the adult is capable of. So the trick is to get your conscious mind to provide direction to the unconscious mind without taking over the tasks and limiting you to a normal performance. In reality, this happens naturally with practice as you go through the four levels of performance. It is particularly striking in blitz chess, where initially you lose and don't really know why. Then you get better and start to understand why you are losing, either on the board or on the clock. Then you start to win some games but you are having to put in a monstrous mental effort (calculation, evaluation etc) and you often may have seconds left on your clock. Finally, you begin to have games where it becomes effortless and the essence of the changing position is crystal-clear to you without really thinking about it - you just play the right moves and it is natural and flowing.
That is the state of mind that we aim to experience more consistently, the realm of genius that alas for most people, does not last very long. The beacon of hope is that we can train oursleves to operate in that mode, simply through practice. In the same way that playing lots of blitz chess games can get us into the blitz-mode of unconscious competence, we can expect that invoking blitz mode in other ways (e.g. I use a stopclock while I'm working and give myself no more than 10 minutes for a task) will help us attain this state - the mental superhighway, where time seems to expand as we go faster and more becomes possible...
Edgard Varese, US (French-born) composer (1883 - 1965)
A week of oscillation between laser-like focus in blitz mode to headless chicken distraction in snail mode. The great truth, demonstrated time and again, is that blitz mode does expand time and create new possibilities. The trick is to sustain it and attract it more often. This applies not just to work but to all aspects of life where accomplishment is the order of the day. It shall form the thrust of my research over the coming weeks. The other aspect of blitz mode is that it appears to connect us with our genius...
There is something about high speed mental activity that appears to ultimately release a higher level of performance. Speed readers experience an increased comprehension as they read faster. Blitz chess players achieve a greater understanding of the position than sometimes occurs in normal chess. That, in itself, is surprising, given that chess is a game of calculation and evaluating various sequences of moves and possibilities. So why should going faster make any difference? Why, more pertinently, could things possibly get better?
Well, let's return to the speed reading example. Part of the magic of speed reading is that you begin to engage the dormant parts of your brain, which are usually not engaged during normal reading. You have plenty of spare capacity to think about other things, or get distracted. When you are speed reading, there is no capacity for anything else. When you are driving really really fast, there is no capacity for putting in a new CD or even adjusting the climate control - your attention is totally on the road ahead. So that is one element - focus. However, I suspect that a deeper more powerful aspect is also at play...
Throughout your day, your body is performing millions of tasks seamlessly, keeping you alive and safe. All of this occurs without your conscious attention. You may also have noticed that after much practice at something you become able to do it "without thinking". Stephen Covey talked about four levels of performance - unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and unconscious competence. Unconscious competence is the highest level precisely because you are engaging a much more powerful computer - your unconscious mind.
The unconscious mind is like a child with super powers. It needs direction from an adult, but can achieve far more than the adult is capable of. So the trick is to get your conscious mind to provide direction to the unconscious mind without taking over the tasks and limiting you to a normal performance. In reality, this happens naturally with practice as you go through the four levels of performance. It is particularly striking in blitz chess, where initially you lose and don't really know why. Then you get better and start to understand why you are losing, either on the board or on the clock. Then you start to win some games but you are having to put in a monstrous mental effort (calculation, evaluation etc) and you often may have seconds left on your clock. Finally, you begin to have games where it becomes effortless and the essence of the changing position is crystal-clear to you without really thinking about it - you just play the right moves and it is natural and flowing.
That is the state of mind that we aim to experience more consistently, the realm of genius that alas for most people, does not last very long. The beacon of hope is that we can train oursleves to operate in that mode, simply through practice. In the same way that playing lots of blitz chess games can get us into the blitz-mode of unconscious competence, we can expect that invoking blitz mode in other ways (e.g. I use a stopclock while I'm working and give myself no more than 10 minutes for a task) will help us attain this state - the mental superhighway, where time seems to expand as we go faster and more becomes possible...
Friday, 8 February 2008
Friendship
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. "
Japanese Proverb
An interesting week with many new discoveries. It is said that stress occurs when the perceived demands exceed the perceived resources. The pace of demands does not let up, but there is much scope for increasing the resources that can be brought to bear. The basic resources are Time, Energy and Money, but to that I would add Knowledge, Attention and Relationships (TEMKAR). All of these can be nurtured to enrich your life materially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In future postings, we will explore these in more detail.
Let's briefly focus on Relationships today, and specifically, the type of relationship called Friend. What is a friend and why do we have them? I will let the quotations at the end of this posting answer this, but the themes that emerge are around sharing and support as well as company. Keeping good company is a critical facet of your well-being and the Japanese proverb strikes a powerful chord. Take a good look at your friends and see what they reveal about you...
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. "
Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 - 1915)
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. "
Dale Carnegie
"All people want is someone to listen. "
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, May 8, 2003Author of the Standing Room Only Weblog (http://blogs.salon.com/0001573/).
"Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. "
Jay Leno, US comedian & television host (1950 - )
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. "
John Churton Collins
Japanese Proverb
An interesting week with many new discoveries. It is said that stress occurs when the perceived demands exceed the perceived resources. The pace of demands does not let up, but there is much scope for increasing the resources that can be brought to bear. The basic resources are Time, Energy and Money, but to that I would add Knowledge, Attention and Relationships (TEMKAR). All of these can be nurtured to enrich your life materially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In future postings, we will explore these in more detail.
Let's briefly focus on Relationships today, and specifically, the type of relationship called Friend. What is a friend and why do we have them? I will let the quotations at the end of this posting answer this, but the themes that emerge are around sharing and support as well as company. Keeping good company is a critical facet of your well-being and the Japanese proverb strikes a powerful chord. Take a good look at your friends and see what they reveal about you...
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. "
Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 - 1915)
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. "
Dale Carnegie
"All people want is someone to listen. "
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, May 8, 2003Author of the Standing Room Only Weblog (http://blogs.salon.com/0001573/).
"Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. "
Jay Leno, US comedian & television host (1950 - )
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. "
John Churton Collins
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