Humour

Humour is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC)

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.
Lewis Mumford, US architect & sociologist (1895 - 1990)

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Mary Hirsch

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter UstinovEnglish actor & author (1921 - 2004)

Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims: The Comic, 1876US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
James Thurber, in Edward R. Murrow television interviewUS author, cartoonist, humorist, & satirist (1894 - 1961)


It feels great to be back on the writing trail after months of abstinence, or rather , months of frenetic work activity. There are times when one says " I'm laughing because it's beyond crying about" or "it's so bad, it's funny" . Another one is "I don't know whether to laugh or to cry". All of these relate to how we handle emotional challenges in our lives and what role humour can play in this.

Humour is a powerful healing, soothing, re-energising force that can help one navigate through difficult situations. One aspect of humour is the ability to laugh at oneself. At the heart of most grievances or disputes is a tendency to take oneself very seriously. We take things personally, we allege wrongdoings towards us by others, we are vigilant for evidence to support our allegations, and we react with outrage when we perceive them. We behave ... well ... like spoilt children do, only with less innocence. Where we, as adults, have the edge over children, is our more advanced capacity for humour.

I remember a period about 13 years ago when my girlfriend (now my wife) was regularly complaining about some of my habits - I was a student at the time (do you get the picture?).
We had had a few rows about the issue and so it now carried more charge than perhaps it merited. Luckily I had a flash of humour injection one day and made my arrangements. The next time she raised the issue, I was prepared. She was very irritated - "How many times do I have to ask you to ....? I'm really getting fed up of....?!! etc"

Before she could build up momentum, I raised my hand, palm facing her and said "Hang on, one second - you need this". I reached into my desk drawer and pulled out one of the forms I had created. It was an official Customer Complaint form, with sections for describing the issue, the impact and what remedial action or compensation was required etc. I said, "Here you go - fill that in and put it on the desk".

She stared at the form incredulously for a few minutes and then burst into laughter. I did get a punch for my troubles, but the situation was transformed - she was more understanding of my approach and I was also more willing to change my habits. It was almost as though, in a flash of light, our minds, or perhaps our hearts, had stopped being at war long enough for us to see that we actually wanted to help each other.

That may be the key to our troubled world in these troubled times. Good humour and lots of laughter (light-heartedness => flashes of humour lighten our hearts). We might even live longer, if that's not too troubling a thought...

Humility

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. "
Confucius, The Confucian Analects, Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC - 479 BC)


"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. "
Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

"If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. "
Ted Turner

Back after a long break (again) and with new perspectives. The key issue I have been wrestling with is the extent to which I am over-worked and under-resourced. I would look at my achievements and all the wonderful benefits I had delivered and feel under-appreciated - "Cant they see that this is an excellent investment of resource?!!" However, and it does take some humility to even open up to this, I began to challenge my paradigm. Yes, I felt overwhelmed but did that really make me a victim of lack of vision by others? Was I truly the innocent hero brilliantly pulling out the stops to deliver value to the customer in the face of short-sightedness and ignorance above me? Or was I simply "in the box"?

I have learned a great lesson in humility from a book called "Leadership and Self-Deception" by the Arbinger Institute:

http://www.arbinger.com/en/bookstore.html#leadershipandselfdeception

And the first quote above, which touches on the need to take action is at the heart of this for me. There is usually an action we sense we should take in certain situations (e.g. write the report now" or "prepare resourcing plan for leadership team review" etc). And we may not take that action. This may have been an action that came into our minds from a deep place within us and would probably have had quite an impact. But we didn't do it. In effect we betrayed ourselves (that part of us that prompts us, our conscience if you will). We then invest substantial energy defending that decision and justifying it, finding faults in others as necessary. It all seems very real and very convincing. There is much emotional investment. Wwe become victims. We get "into the box".

So, armed with this element of Awareness, I have engaged the other of the four elements (see previous posts on the Four Elements), Flow, to address the action piece. One terrific exponent of flow for me is David Allen, with his Getting Things Done methodology:

http://www.davidco.com/

I won't dive into that now, but this has been transformative and quite humbling....