“Hope doesn't come from calculating whether the good news is winning out over the bad. It's simply a choice to take action.”
Anna Lappe, O Magazine, June 2003
In these troubled times, it is inevitable that some of us will turn to hope. That is what may keep our spirits up long enough to take the right actions to steer the course. Hope is often referred to as a four-letter word, implying something vulgar and untrustworthy. In the realm of investment, this is probably true, as making financial decisions based on hope could be disastrous. These decisions must be based on accurate evaluation of risk and reward, on facts and figures rather than opinions and desires. A banker may transact based on hope - the hope that the debtor might be able to pay eventually even though all the credit history suggests otherwise, the hope that the market might surge to offset the risks, hope that the transaction will make a massive profit... The danger of hope is that it clouds judgement by letting desire and expectation gatecrash the party of analysis and evaluation.
So is it fair to say that hope is what got us into this financial mess in the first place? Perhaps (some might be more specific and call it greed). But might it be, as preposterous as it sounds, that it is hope that may get us out of this mess too? The proliferation of government rescue packages offer hope even though the stark reality is that a global recession looms. What could mitigate, if not avoid, a major economic slump? The word "confidence" is used a lot in news bulletins that discuss the credit crunch. The lack of confidence is what leads investors to sell off their shares, banks to avoid lending money to each other and to customers, and businesses shrinking their operations. Is this not hope (or the lack of it) in disguise?
Is there now a place of hope, in the absence of concrete facts and certainty about the future, to trigger a self-fulfilling prophecy? Can hope not drive confidence and then the actions that might begin to create the concrete facts and certainty about the future? That may be the key. And hope always starts with hope for ourselves. That we can be better, that we can weather whatever storm befalls us, that ultimately, we have within us the seed of greatness that we need to discover and bring powerfully into the world. Sometimes a crisis is a catalyst for the existential chemical reaction that can transform our lives. And hope is what keeps us in the laboratory to see the process through...
“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up. “
Anne Lamott
“He that lives upon hope will die fasting. “
Benjamin Franklin, US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 - 1790)
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,and never stops at all. “
Emily Dickinson, US poet (1830 - 1886)
“Hope, like the gleaming taper's light,Adorns and cheers our way; And still, as darker grows the night,Emits a brighter ray. “
Oliver Goldsmith, British-Irish author (1730 - 1774)
“The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. “
Stephen Ambrose, in Fast CompanyAmerican historian and author (1936 - 2002)
“True hope is swift, and flies with swallow's wings; Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings. “
William Shakespeare, "King Richard III", Act 5 scene 2Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)
Tuesday, 30 September 2008
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Honour
"Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself. "
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999, US science fiction author
Back after a long break. It was quite an eventful weekend with one of the main events being my reintroducing myself to the Japanese martial art of Tai Jitsu (the unarmed combat style of the Ninja). I had not trained for 5 months so the effect on my body was devastating, but I lasted the full two and a half hours without injury - that was a result! I also reflected on the ancient Japanese warriors and their codes of honour. The Samurai had a code of honour but so did the Ninja...
Honour is one of those elusive concepts that we feel but find difficult to express precisely. Pride is a clumsy attempt at it and somewhat misses the point. It probably boils down to some form of self-validation, in the absence of any external judgement, not quite a form of conscience but yet providing a compass by which we may navigate our lives.
However, the very nature of self-validation suggests that honour can be flawed as it is derived from the values that the individual holds. These values may be universal or they may be cultural - they might even be individual. And so, much has been done in the name of honour, noble and brutal, so that the concept itself now has a mixed connotation unlike hundreds of years ago.
I suspect that we need to redicover the concept of honour, base our honour on sound universal principles and show the integrity to live by it. The world has numerous challenges and one step in the right direction for us all would be to become more honourable.
"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. "
Oprah Winfrey, in Good Housekeeping, US actress & television talk show host (1954 - )
"Honour does not have to be defended. "
Robert J. Sawyer, "Calculating God", 2000, Canadian science fiction writer (1960 - )
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999, US science fiction author
Back after a long break. It was quite an eventful weekend with one of the main events being my reintroducing myself to the Japanese martial art of Tai Jitsu (the unarmed combat style of the Ninja). I had not trained for 5 months so the effect on my body was devastating, but I lasted the full two and a half hours without injury - that was a result! I also reflected on the ancient Japanese warriors and their codes of honour. The Samurai had a code of honour but so did the Ninja...
Honour is one of those elusive concepts that we feel but find difficult to express precisely. Pride is a clumsy attempt at it and somewhat misses the point. It probably boils down to some form of self-validation, in the absence of any external judgement, not quite a form of conscience but yet providing a compass by which we may navigate our lives.
However, the very nature of self-validation suggests that honour can be flawed as it is derived from the values that the individual holds. These values may be universal or they may be cultural - they might even be individual. And so, much has been done in the name of honour, noble and brutal, so that the concept itself now has a mixed connotation unlike hundreds of years ago.
I suspect that we need to redicover the concept of honour, base our honour on sound universal principles and show the integrity to live by it. The world has numerous challenges and one step in the right direction for us all would be to become more honourable.
"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. "
Oprah Winfrey, in Good Housekeeping, US actress & television talk show host (1954 - )
"Honour does not have to be defended. "
Robert J. Sawyer, "Calculating God", 2000, Canadian science fiction writer (1960 - )
Sunday, 4 May 2008
History
"History is the witness that testifies to the passing of time; it illumines reality, vitalizes memory, provides guidance in daily life and brings us tidings of antiquity. "
Cicero, Pro Publio Sestio, Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)
At last the good weather is making a consistent return. Every year, it is more or less the same story, the British weather relives its chequered history of flirtation and disappointment and the occasional consistency. This pattern may well be a solid theme for the story of mankind, where repetition and innovation are well-represented. History is a more important subject than most people give it credit for. It permeates our thinking, shapes our belief systems and norms, influences our emotions and biases, informs our fears and hopes, enriches our knowledge and understanding, and basically runs our lives.
But is that always the case? Is it possible to be free of the past? Let's consider that for a moment. Thinking is of the past because it is directed by our past conditioning. So the route to escaping the past (if we really want to) is not to think. Hmm, that could be problematic. Is there a difference between thinking and observing? Absolutely. When we are present, there is not thinking, just observation. And there is no concept of time, so the past cannot play a role here.
Could we live our lives like that, and would we really want to? Well, a distinction needs to be made here between functional thought and psychological thought. As J Krishnamurti describes with great elegance in his numerous notes, pyschological thought is at the root of human suffering and the time prison. Functional thought has great value in the practical reality of being alive and thriving.
Anyway, that's a philosophical discussion. The truth about history in practice is that we have a choice. We can either repeat it, or we can go beyond it.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. "
George Santayana, The Life of Reason, Volume 1, 1905, US (Spanish-born) philosopher (1863 - 1952)
Cicero, Pro Publio Sestio, Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)
At last the good weather is making a consistent return. Every year, it is more or less the same story, the British weather relives its chequered history of flirtation and disappointment and the occasional consistency. This pattern may well be a solid theme for the story of mankind, where repetition and innovation are well-represented. History is a more important subject than most people give it credit for. It permeates our thinking, shapes our belief systems and norms, influences our emotions and biases, informs our fears and hopes, enriches our knowledge and understanding, and basically runs our lives.
But is that always the case? Is it possible to be free of the past? Let's consider that for a moment. Thinking is of the past because it is directed by our past conditioning. So the route to escaping the past (if we really want to) is not to think. Hmm, that could be problematic. Is there a difference between thinking and observing? Absolutely. When we are present, there is not thinking, just observation. And there is no concept of time, so the past cannot play a role here.
Could we live our lives like that, and would we really want to? Well, a distinction needs to be made here between functional thought and psychological thought. As J Krishnamurti describes with great elegance in his numerous notes, pyschological thought is at the root of human suffering and the time prison. Functional thought has great value in the practical reality of being alive and thriving.
Anyway, that's a philosophical discussion. The truth about history in practice is that we have a choice. We can either repeat it, or we can go beyond it.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. "
George Santayana, The Life of Reason, Volume 1, 1905, US (Spanish-born) philosopher (1863 - 1952)
Saturday, 26 April 2008
Heroes
"I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom. "
Bob Dylan, US singer & songwriter (1941 - )
I was delighted this week that Heroes returned to our screens. I rarely watch TV during the week (football matches are an exception), but Heroes was so engaging in the first series that I couldn't wait to get home on Thursday evening. Beneath all the action and thrill of the multiple stories, there is a constant theme for almost each character. They have a special power that gives them a level of freedom, and they must learn to control it and use it effectively, to grasp the degree of responsibility that comes with it.
We often think of heroes as those who show courage in the face of fear, and take action that saves the day... or at least saves something or someone. What is the key ingredient of heroism? Courage? Ability?Special powers? Courage seems to be a prerequisite, and ability does increase the likelihood of a successful heroic act. But do we not all possess courage and some ability? Most people do, and yet ... there are few true heroes. Why is this?
Well, Mike Litman states that "in life, you're either consistent, or you're non-existent". Could it be that heroes may have courage more consistently? Or do they simply have a better understanding of the responsibilities their abilities require? Or is it simply a question of energy? Does "fatigue make cowards of us all" as Vince Lombardi asserts? Or, is it the case that we are all like the characters in the series Heroes? Perhaps our powers do not appear as special or dramatic, but we do have gifts. And to the extent that we integrate these gifts into our lives and honour them, we have the capacity to be heroic...
"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. "
Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)
"Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story. "
John Barth, US novelist & short story author (1930 - )
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else. "
Umberto Eco, Travels in Hyperreality, Italian novelist & semiotician (1932 - )
Bob Dylan, US singer & songwriter (1941 - )
I was delighted this week that Heroes returned to our screens. I rarely watch TV during the week (football matches are an exception), but Heroes was so engaging in the first series that I couldn't wait to get home on Thursday evening. Beneath all the action and thrill of the multiple stories, there is a constant theme for almost each character. They have a special power that gives them a level of freedom, and they must learn to control it and use it effectively, to grasp the degree of responsibility that comes with it.
We often think of heroes as those who show courage in the face of fear, and take action that saves the day... or at least saves something or someone. What is the key ingredient of heroism? Courage? Ability?Special powers? Courage seems to be a prerequisite, and ability does increase the likelihood of a successful heroic act. But do we not all possess courage and some ability? Most people do, and yet ... there are few true heroes. Why is this?
Well, Mike Litman states that "in life, you're either consistent, or you're non-existent". Could it be that heroes may have courage more consistently? Or do they simply have a better understanding of the responsibilities their abilities require? Or is it simply a question of energy? Does "fatigue make cowards of us all" as Vince Lombardi asserts? Or, is it the case that we are all like the characters in the series Heroes? Perhaps our powers do not appear as special or dramatic, but we do have gifts. And to the extent that we integrate these gifts into our lives and honour them, we have the capacity to be heroic...
"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. "
Ralph Waldo Emerson, US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)
"Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story. "
John Barth, US novelist & short story author (1930 - )
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else. "
Umberto Eco, Travels in Hyperreality, Italian novelist & semiotician (1932 - )
Sunday, 20 April 2008
Health
"As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself. "
Adelle Davis
A weekend spent playing nursemaid as my family have been struck down with a bug. I have now gone for a considerable period without illness, despite being regularly surrounded by it. Does that make me healthy? I guess I could say yes to a degree, but health is much more than the absence of illness. I see health as a state of well-being, mainly physical, but affected by the emotional, mental and spiritual. Health is like an intermediate point on a spectrum of Life and Death. Illness is an intermediate point on the opposite side of the same spectrum.
Although health is fundamentally important in our lives, it is primarily a context activity. Good health supports us in what ever our lives are ultimately about. But good health is not an end in itself. It is not a super-strategic function, although it is very important in supporting our strategies. Cleaning an office is not a strategic function, but a dirty office would quickly begin to adversely affect the staff, and ultimately the company's performance. Cleaning is usually outsourced - a third party company manages it. The main company don't have to concern themselves with cleaning - they just pay the invoice.
Health can be outsourced too. But not (necessarily) to a third party. The outsourcing is to your habits. Automation provides the service and frees you up to focus on your strategic objectives. You create good healthy habits and then they run by themselves, building energy and well-being, while you get on with the business of living your great life. You don't have to become obsessed with health. You just select some good habits and start them off. And yes, keep paying the invoice...
"Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. "
Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French author & moralist (1613 - 1680)
"Pain (any pain--emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: "We would be more alive if we did more of this," and, "Life would be more lovely if we did less of that." Once we get the pain's message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away. "
Peter McWilliams, Life 101
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. "
Redd Foxx, US comedian (1922 - 1991)
Adelle Davis
A weekend spent playing nursemaid as my family have been struck down with a bug. I have now gone for a considerable period without illness, despite being regularly surrounded by it. Does that make me healthy? I guess I could say yes to a degree, but health is much more than the absence of illness. I see health as a state of well-being, mainly physical, but affected by the emotional, mental and spiritual. Health is like an intermediate point on a spectrum of Life and Death. Illness is an intermediate point on the opposite side of the same spectrum.
Although health is fundamentally important in our lives, it is primarily a context activity. Good health supports us in what ever our lives are ultimately about. But good health is not an end in itself. It is not a super-strategic function, although it is very important in supporting our strategies. Cleaning an office is not a strategic function, but a dirty office would quickly begin to adversely affect the staff, and ultimately the company's performance. Cleaning is usually outsourced - a third party company manages it. The main company don't have to concern themselves with cleaning - they just pay the invoice.
Health can be outsourced too. But not (necessarily) to a third party. The outsourcing is to your habits. Automation provides the service and frees you up to focus on your strategic objectives. You create good healthy habits and then they run by themselves, building energy and well-being, while you get on with the business of living your great life. You don't have to become obsessed with health. You just select some good habits and start them off. And yes, keep paying the invoice...
"Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. "
Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French author & moralist (1613 - 1680)
"Pain (any pain--emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: "We would be more alive if we did more of this," and, "Life would be more lovely if we did less of that." Once we get the pain's message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away. "
Peter McWilliams, Life 101
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. "
Redd Foxx, US comedian (1922 - 1991)
Friday, 4 April 2008
Hate
"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. "
Hermann Hesse, Swiss (German-born) author (1877 - 1962)
Two weeks after the holiday and I feel very well rested. The only snag has been the fairly constant headache I have had since I got back. One day while working, I thought I felt a little drowsy too so I did a search on "headache and drowsiness" on Google, and the first hit was "Brain Tumour". I got back to work...
Fortunately, my headache is probably more to do with my eye strain than cancer, but the brief period of anxiety was instructive. It also got me thinking about how negative thinking patterns can affect physical health ultimately, rather like a editing a document on the computer affects what gets printed out physically. What about hate, specifically? What is hate? How does it come about? What is the effect?
Well, as always, I prefer to leave the wisdom to the quotations and instead examine particular aspects of a topic. I have a theory that hate is a form of laziness. My father once said, "If you really understand someone, it is very difficult to dislike them". I believe this is startlingly true. We lurch towards hate when we abdicate the responsibility and discipline to do the work of understanding others. Understanding requires energy and effort, and many of us would rather just...hate. But is that really it? Or is there something deeper and more insidious?
Hermann Hesse raises a key point when he talks about us hating people who exhibit parts of ourselves that we have disowned. Otherwise, we would be indifferent. So is the crux of the matter that we simply have not done the work of truly understanding ourselves? Of embracing the parts of ourselves that we have disowned? Of coming to understand those parts? If we were to do this work, would we be capable of hate? There is a saying that "Projection makes Perception". We project without, what we deny within. We perceive our projections and we don't like what we see. We hate.
It is no wonder that most spiritual practices urge the practitioner to "know thyself". This seems to lie at the heart (literally) of the matter. So next time you feel yourself hating someone, take that as a signal to examine yourself. Find out what is in you that you have not understood or embraced. We must all do this. The future of the world may depend on it...
"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. "
Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, & novelist (1869 - 1951)
"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them. "
Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)
"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. "
Richard M. Nixon, in his White House farewell, 37th president of US (1913 - 1994)
"Hate no one; hate their vices, not themselves. "
J. G. C. Brainard
Hermann Hesse, Swiss (German-born) author (1877 - 1962)
Two weeks after the holiday and I feel very well rested. The only snag has been the fairly constant headache I have had since I got back. One day while working, I thought I felt a little drowsy too so I did a search on "headache and drowsiness" on Google, and the first hit was "Brain Tumour". I got back to work...
Fortunately, my headache is probably more to do with my eye strain than cancer, but the brief period of anxiety was instructive. It also got me thinking about how negative thinking patterns can affect physical health ultimately, rather like a editing a document on the computer affects what gets printed out physically. What about hate, specifically? What is hate? How does it come about? What is the effect?
Well, as always, I prefer to leave the wisdom to the quotations and instead examine particular aspects of a topic. I have a theory that hate is a form of laziness. My father once said, "If you really understand someone, it is very difficult to dislike them". I believe this is startlingly true. We lurch towards hate when we abdicate the responsibility and discipline to do the work of understanding others. Understanding requires energy and effort, and many of us would rather just...hate. But is that really it? Or is there something deeper and more insidious?
Hermann Hesse raises a key point when he talks about us hating people who exhibit parts of ourselves that we have disowned. Otherwise, we would be indifferent. So is the crux of the matter that we simply have not done the work of truly understanding ourselves? Of embracing the parts of ourselves that we have disowned? Of coming to understand those parts? If we were to do this work, would we be capable of hate? There is a saying that "Projection makes Perception". We project without, what we deny within. We perceive our projections and we don't like what we see. We hate.
It is no wonder that most spiritual practices urge the practitioner to "know thyself". This seems to lie at the heart (literally) of the matter. So next time you feel yourself hating someone, take that as a signal to examine yourself. Find out what is in you that you have not understood or embraced. We must all do this. The future of the world may depend on it...
"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. "
Andre Gide, French critic, essayist, & novelist (1869 - 1951)
"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them. "
Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)
"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. "
Richard M. Nixon, in his White House farewell, 37th president of US (1913 - 1994)
"Hate no one; hate their vices, not themselves. "
J. G. C. Brainard
Sunday, 30 March 2008
Happiness
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. "
Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 - 1865)
"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. "
Jean Houston
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. "
Mahatma Gandhi, Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)
"I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters. "
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, US actress & television talk show host (1954 - )
"Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination. "
Roy M. Goodman
Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 - 1865)
Back from holiday and back into the full swing of things. The interesting feature of holidays is that they attract work - before you go on holiday, your workrate often intensifies in your frantic scramble to get everything done before you leave, and then when you get back, you pull out the stops to catch up. That's one of the joys of life. And speaking of happiness, I think it is time to pause and reflect on this intangible and often elusive state that many of us appear to be chasing.
Much has been written about happiness, and I will not dive into a long examination of the subject, although I have included some extra quotes below to provide a breadth of perspective. Let me present a different view of happiness. I see happiness on two levels - Level 1 and Level 2. If you consider your life to be like a film in progress, then Level 1 is the audience's view of events in the film, whereas Level 2 is the character's view of them. So regardless of what tribulation the character may be going through, the audience may still be enjoying the film because it is good or because they have simply decided that they are going to enjoy the film (and the popcorn). It is possible to be happy on Level 1 and unhappy on Level 2. Conversely, even if the actor is very happy in the film, the audience may not enjoy the film - it may be a stinker, or they may not want to enjoy it (believe me, some people are determined not to). It is also possible to be happy on Level 2 but unhappy on Level 1.
So what does this really mean? Well, Level 2 is what many people refer to when they talk about happiness, especially when it is derived from events, people and things. It is a more volatile state which comes and goes as one's life unfolds. It is the experience of the character in our life movie. Level 1 is more profound and is alluded to in some spiritual practices as well as in some personal development ideas. It is a less volatile state that lies below the surface. It is the experience of the audience in our life movie. Now, there is a case for also considering a Level 0, which is the director's view, and represents a high level of consciousness that could be attained perhaps through spiritual practice. This could be thought of as a blissful state rather than a merely a happy one.
So, let me leave it at that. The question we must ask ourselves is whether our movie is good (audience/director) and whether our character is happy. The Level 1 perspective is very powerful, especially when dealing with drama and tragedy in one's life movie. When things go wrong and you're feeling miserable(Level 2), change the film music to sombre or eerie, darken the picture, watch the movie (Level 1). In this respect, keeping a journal of events and feelings is very helpful, much like a having the film script. Let's make it an Oscar-winner...
"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values. "
Ayn Rand, US (Russian-born) novelist (1905 - 1982)
"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. "
Jean Houston
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. "
Mahatma Gandhi, Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)
"I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters. "
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, US actress & television talk show host (1954 - )
"Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination. "
Roy M. Goodman
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Habits
Today is Easter Sunday and it has been a very eventful day of celebration and festivity. A very brief pause to quickly reflect on the role of habits in our lives. It has been suggested that 90% of what we do is habitual. And most of our habits were formed unconsciously i.e. we did not choose them consciously. That is quite a sobering thought as we strive to extol the virtues of our humanity and free will. It seems that we are more like mechanical robots and automatons than we would like to believe. But there is tremendous opportunity here too.
- "Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them."
Habits are very powerful indeed. It is like having an automated process that performs a task on your behalf, without your conscious intervention. Take brushing your teeth in the morning. Not something you want to dwell on or make decisions about. You just do it. Every morning it happens. Period. And there are countless other such tasks being performed automatically, freeing up your mind to focus on other more important or demanding items. Or, at least, this is the case if you manage your habits. Of course, you could have a portfolio of bad habits that could undermine you. The key is that you are effectively enlisting the help of an automated processing unit to take on the important drudgery of your life. So far we are focusing on physical habits.
The other key parts of the habit puzzle are the behavioural and mental habits, which play a very significant role in your life. Again, by getting to grips with these, initially consciously enforcing and reinforcing through repetition a desired pattern, you can establish a virtuous cycle that nourishes you. It also requires less and less conscious effort as it becomes a habit. Some people are loathe to form habits because they fear that these will condemn their lives to routine and boring predictability. The exact reverse is true. Having a solid platform of life-enhancing habits frees you up to pursue a life of passion and adventure. It is like the transition from the hunter-gatherer lifestyle, where everyone was fully engaged in hunting for food and had no time to pursue any other interests, to the agrarian or farming lifestyle, where food supply was guaranteed by an increasing smaller subset of the population, freeing up the others to pursue other activities. This is the transition that can take place within us...
"First we make our habits, then our habits make us"
John Dryden
Monday, 17 March 2008
Grief
"Grief is the agony of an instant, the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life. "
Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 - 1881)
What bliss - the unapologetic heat of Accra, the irresistible taste of my mother's cooking and the general restfulness of this holiday. Amidst all of this, there is the sense that grief abounds, with stories of deaths and injuries being told with increasing frequency. The inevitable consequence of these tragic events is grief. When we lose something or someone, we grieve. We may grieve for days for months or for years. Some people may actually grieve for the rest of their lives. With grief, there is no right and wrong. You grieve until you have stopped grieving.
Or is that really so?
What is the effect of grief on your life, on the people around you, on the people you love you, who depend on you? Over a few weeks or months, even full-scale grief can be absorbed and indeed, it may be cathartic to let the grief take its course. When the grief persists at full strength for a longer and longer period, then there may be something else at play. Our minds have a tendency to become comfortable in grief, to almost savour the pain, the delicious feeling of tragedy and victimhood, the attention and sympathy that we get, the sense that we have been dealt a cruel blow by life, a sense of being a protagonist in a drama. It is a paradox, but there is a trap in grief, one that is so close to a natural, honourable human experience that it is very easy to fall into and difficult not to sympathise with. But this may well be what is termed a life blunder...
"While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. "
Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 - 1784)
Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 - 1881)
What bliss - the unapologetic heat of Accra, the irresistible taste of my mother's cooking and the general restfulness of this holiday. Amidst all of this, there is the sense that grief abounds, with stories of deaths and injuries being told with increasing frequency. The inevitable consequence of these tragic events is grief. When we lose something or someone, we grieve. We may grieve for days for months or for years. Some people may actually grieve for the rest of their lives. With grief, there is no right and wrong. You grieve until you have stopped grieving.
Or is that really so?
What is the effect of grief on your life, on the people around you, on the people you love you, who depend on you? Over a few weeks or months, even full-scale grief can be absorbed and indeed, it may be cathartic to let the grief take its course. When the grief persists at full strength for a longer and longer period, then there may be something else at play. Our minds have a tendency to become comfortable in grief, to almost savour the pain, the delicious feeling of tragedy and victimhood, the attention and sympathy that we get, the sense that we have been dealt a cruel blow by life, a sense of being a protagonist in a drama. It is a paradox, but there is a trap in grief, one that is so close to a natural, honourable human experience that it is very easy to fall into and difficult not to sympathise with. But this may well be what is termed a life blunder...
"While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. "
Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 - 1784)
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Gratitude
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. "
Cicero, 'Pro Plancio,' 54 B.C.Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)
As I prepare to depart for the airport this wet & windy morning, with the prospect of arriving in a much warmer environment later on today, I must pause to be thankful for all I have and all I am. There is no limit to how much gratitude we can feel - it is just a matter of focus. There is so much to be grateful for; and gratitude creates the space for more gifts to enter your life. It is, in a lot of ways, a cause rather than an effect. So why do we not feel gratitude more often and more deeply? Why are we often stifled in our gratefulness? Do we not wish to keep the gifts flowing? Or are we simply not aware of all the gifts bestowed on us?
"It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. "
Roberto Benigni, in NewsweekItalian actor, comedian, and director (1952 - )
Cicero, 'Pro Plancio,' 54 B.C.Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)
As I prepare to depart for the airport this wet & windy morning, with the prospect of arriving in a much warmer environment later on today, I must pause to be thankful for all I have and all I am. There is no limit to how much gratitude we can feel - it is just a matter of focus. There is so much to be grateful for; and gratitude creates the space for more gifts to enter your life. It is, in a lot of ways, a cause rather than an effect. So why do we not feel gratitude more often and more deeply? Why are we often stifled in our gratefulness? Do we not wish to keep the gifts flowing? Or are we simply not aware of all the gifts bestowed on us?
"It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. "
Roberto Benigni, in NewsweekItalian actor, comedian, and director (1952 - )
Saturday, 1 March 2008
Goals
"It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it. "
Arnold Toynbee, English historian & historical philosopher (1889 - 1975)
Another week flies by, and I have one more week to go before I start my travels. The great thing is that the blitz moments are becoming more regular. That feeling of "clock slowing" that arises at high speed is occurring more often. Albert Einstein's concept of relativity seems more tangible. A new time paradigm is emerging.
We spoke last week about what it was all for, the purpose of activity and achievement. This week, I want to delve into some specifics. So, we have a gift and we have a purpose. Now what? We need to crystallize and actualize our gifts through setting some goals. Conventional wisdom advises that we make goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely(http://www.topachievement.com/smart.html). This works and can lead to good results - it is the basis of most personal development and coaching initiatives. But how about an alternative possibility - the possibility that by aiming for the stars, you can end up on the moon?
We have already discussed blitz at some length, but the concept of driving very fast and subsequently slowing down conveys this point. Legal considerations aside (this is purely theoretical), imagine that you want to be able to feel comfortable at 150 miles an hour. What if you were to be driven at 200 miles an hour for a while. Initially you would be very uncomfortable, perhaps even hysterical. Your breathing would be disrupted and your heart would be pounding. This could be fear or it could be thrill. With time, you might feel slightly better albeit still uncomfortable. The point is this. When the speed is reduced to 150 miles an hour, IT FEELS SLOW. I propose that the same applies to goals.
If you aim beyond the goal that you are striving for, you raise your game accordingly. Your mindset and perceptions change in the same way that they change in the speeding car or in a blitz chess match with 20 seconds left on your clock. If there is a piece of work to be completed in three hours and you aim for that, you might achieve it within the three hours; but it is possible that you may overrun slightly. However, what if you aimed to complete the work within two hours or perhaps even one hour?!
Parkinson's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson's_law) states that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." Are our goals potential victims of Parkinson's Law? "Limitation expands so as to fill the space left by your goals". We have all experienced a simple form of this phenomenon when we are about to go away on holiday. On that last day, we often accomplish much more than we normally would. The same might apply to the last day of a big deadline. Why? Well, because we set more ambitious goals in these situations.
So, in summary, we need to set clear goals but we might more likely attain them if we actually aim beyond them and so tap into more of our power. The alternative is to leave space in our lives that limitation and procrastination may readily fill...
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. "
Robert Heinlein, US science fiction author (1907 - 1988)
Arnold Toynbee, English historian & historical philosopher (1889 - 1975)
Another week flies by, and I have one more week to go before I start my travels. The great thing is that the blitz moments are becoming more regular. That feeling of "clock slowing" that arises at high speed is occurring more often. Albert Einstein's concept of relativity seems more tangible. A new time paradigm is emerging.
We spoke last week about what it was all for, the purpose of activity and achievement. This week, I want to delve into some specifics. So, we have a gift and we have a purpose. Now what? We need to crystallize and actualize our gifts through setting some goals. Conventional wisdom advises that we make goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely(http://www.topachievement.com/smart.html). This works and can lead to good results - it is the basis of most personal development and coaching initiatives. But how about an alternative possibility - the possibility that by aiming for the stars, you can end up on the moon?
We have already discussed blitz at some length, but the concept of driving very fast and subsequently slowing down conveys this point. Legal considerations aside (this is purely theoretical), imagine that you want to be able to feel comfortable at 150 miles an hour. What if you were to be driven at 200 miles an hour for a while. Initially you would be very uncomfortable, perhaps even hysterical. Your breathing would be disrupted and your heart would be pounding. This could be fear or it could be thrill. With time, you might feel slightly better albeit still uncomfortable. The point is this. When the speed is reduced to 150 miles an hour, IT FEELS SLOW. I propose that the same applies to goals.
If you aim beyond the goal that you are striving for, you raise your game accordingly. Your mindset and perceptions change in the same way that they change in the speeding car or in a blitz chess match with 20 seconds left on your clock. If there is a piece of work to be completed in three hours and you aim for that, you might achieve it within the three hours; but it is possible that you may overrun slightly. However, what if you aimed to complete the work within two hours or perhaps even one hour?!
Parkinson's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson's_law) states that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." Are our goals potential victims of Parkinson's Law? "Limitation expands so as to fill the space left by your goals". We have all experienced a simple form of this phenomenon when we are about to go away on holiday. On that last day, we often accomplish much more than we normally would. The same might apply to the last day of a big deadline. Why? Well, because we set more ambitious goals in these situations.
So, in summary, we need to set clear goals but we might more likely attain them if we actually aim beyond them and so tap into more of our power. The alternative is to leave space in our lives that limitation and procrastination may readily fill...
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. "
Robert Heinlein, US science fiction author (1907 - 1988)
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Giving
"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. "
Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 - 1965)
It's very fortunate that I am exploring the concept of blitz - I need it! Indeed, such is the growing intensity of demands on my time that I suspect that this is part of my research. I am being forced to validate and discover the essence of the blitz concept and show how it can be applied in practice.
Before we go racing off again, it is worth reflecting on what it is all for - ultimately. Why do I want to accomplish all those tasks quicker, achieve all those goals, meet all those demands etc? Why do I want to climb the ladder of achievement faster? Well, I guess, it depends on whether the ladder is leaning against a worthwhile wall - that leads to something I will ultimately value. Why do we work? Well, let me recount an interesting dream I had a number of years ago.
In this dream, I was speaking to my grandfather. He said to me:
"Bobo, why do people work so hard?"
I said "Well, because they need to make money and ..."
"Why do they need to make money?"
"To have the things they need and also to have the things they want"
"In other words, to survive comfortably?"
"Well, yes, I guess you could say that"
"Until?..."
"I guess until the end of their lives"
Grandad smiled. " Ok, so let's summarise. Most people work hard, go through a fair amount of stress, miss out on the true joys of life etc, in order to survive comfortably until they die."
I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, some people love their work! Some people are able to live life fully (work and play, relationships etc)"
"Yes, but they are a small minority. The majority are surviving comfortably until they die. And the rat race is to see how comfortably you can survive until you die"
"So, in a sense, we are trying to solve the problem of being alive, by putting in tremendous energy to survive comfortably until the inevitable".
I was feeling pretty depressed at this point.
"Yes, and if that is truly the situation, you could avoid the whole problem by not being alive in the first place!"
"So, life has to be more than surviving comfortably until you die."
"Yes, your life must serve some purpose, must bring something lasting into the world. And you have to find what it is you can bring - we all have a gift"
This dream was a turning point in my life, and came to me during a period of great turmoil. It gets to the heart of the matter of living, as does the simple quote by Sir Winston Churchill. Surviving comfortably is an important wall to lean your ladder against, and the comforts can be great fun in themselves, but this will only take you so far - the wall is not high enough to reach the destination of deep fulfilment. Bringing your gift into the world is a wall that has no limit, and ultimately is what makes life truly worth living.
The key thing I have learnt is to find out what your gift is and bring that essence powerfully into WHATEVER you do. When you do that, you tap into something very special indeed - the piece of the jigsaw that links us all. And, in that place, you become present enough to experience it, to truly live...
"Behold those wretched souls who tiptoe through life, hoping to make it safely to death" - anon
Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 - 1965)
It's very fortunate that I am exploring the concept of blitz - I need it! Indeed, such is the growing intensity of demands on my time that I suspect that this is part of my research. I am being forced to validate and discover the essence of the blitz concept and show how it can be applied in practice.
Before we go racing off again, it is worth reflecting on what it is all for - ultimately. Why do I want to accomplish all those tasks quicker, achieve all those goals, meet all those demands etc? Why do I want to climb the ladder of achievement faster? Well, I guess, it depends on whether the ladder is leaning against a worthwhile wall - that leads to something I will ultimately value. Why do we work? Well, let me recount an interesting dream I had a number of years ago.
In this dream, I was speaking to my grandfather. He said to me:
"Bobo, why do people work so hard?"
I said "Well, because they need to make money and ..."
"Why do they need to make money?"
"To have the things they need and also to have the things they want"
"In other words, to survive comfortably?"
"Well, yes, I guess you could say that"
"Until?..."
"I guess until the end of their lives"
Grandad smiled. " Ok, so let's summarise. Most people work hard, go through a fair amount of stress, miss out on the true joys of life etc, in order to survive comfortably until they die."
I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, some people love their work! Some people are able to live life fully (work and play, relationships etc)"
"Yes, but they are a small minority. The majority are surviving comfortably until they die. And the rat race is to see how comfortably you can survive until you die"
"So, in a sense, we are trying to solve the problem of being alive, by putting in tremendous energy to survive comfortably until the inevitable".
I was feeling pretty depressed at this point.
"Yes, and if that is truly the situation, you could avoid the whole problem by not being alive in the first place!"
"So, life has to be more than surviving comfortably until you die."
"Yes, your life must serve some purpose, must bring something lasting into the world. And you have to find what it is you can bring - we all have a gift"
This dream was a turning point in my life, and came to me during a period of great turmoil. It gets to the heart of the matter of living, as does the simple quote by Sir Winston Churchill. Surviving comfortably is an important wall to lean your ladder against, and the comforts can be great fun in themselves, but this will only take you so far - the wall is not high enough to reach the destination of deep fulfilment. Bringing your gift into the world is a wall that has no limit, and ultimately is what makes life truly worth living.
The key thing I have learnt is to find out what your gift is and bring that essence powerfully into WHATEVER you do. When you do that, you tap into something very special indeed - the piece of the jigsaw that links us all. And, in that place, you become present enough to experience it, to truly live...
"Behold those wretched souls who tiptoe through life, hoping to make it safely to death" - anon
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Genius
Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
Edgard Varese, US (French-born) composer (1883 - 1965)
A week of oscillation between laser-like focus in blitz mode to headless chicken distraction in snail mode. The great truth, demonstrated time and again, is that blitz mode does expand time and create new possibilities. The trick is to sustain it and attract it more often. This applies not just to work but to all aspects of life where accomplishment is the order of the day. It shall form the thrust of my research over the coming weeks. The other aspect of blitz mode is that it appears to connect us with our genius...
There is something about high speed mental activity that appears to ultimately release a higher level of performance. Speed readers experience an increased comprehension as they read faster. Blitz chess players achieve a greater understanding of the position than sometimes occurs in normal chess. That, in itself, is surprising, given that chess is a game of calculation and evaluating various sequences of moves and possibilities. So why should going faster make any difference? Why, more pertinently, could things possibly get better?
Well, let's return to the speed reading example. Part of the magic of speed reading is that you begin to engage the dormant parts of your brain, which are usually not engaged during normal reading. You have plenty of spare capacity to think about other things, or get distracted. When you are speed reading, there is no capacity for anything else. When you are driving really really fast, there is no capacity for putting in a new CD or even adjusting the climate control - your attention is totally on the road ahead. So that is one element - focus. However, I suspect that a deeper more powerful aspect is also at play...
Throughout your day, your body is performing millions of tasks seamlessly, keeping you alive and safe. All of this occurs without your conscious attention. You may also have noticed that after much practice at something you become able to do it "without thinking". Stephen Covey talked about four levels of performance - unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and unconscious competence. Unconscious competence is the highest level precisely because you are engaging a much more powerful computer - your unconscious mind.
The unconscious mind is like a child with super powers. It needs direction from an adult, but can achieve far more than the adult is capable of. So the trick is to get your conscious mind to provide direction to the unconscious mind without taking over the tasks and limiting you to a normal performance. In reality, this happens naturally with practice as you go through the four levels of performance. It is particularly striking in blitz chess, where initially you lose and don't really know why. Then you get better and start to understand why you are losing, either on the board or on the clock. Then you start to win some games but you are having to put in a monstrous mental effort (calculation, evaluation etc) and you often may have seconds left on your clock. Finally, you begin to have games where it becomes effortless and the essence of the changing position is crystal-clear to you without really thinking about it - you just play the right moves and it is natural and flowing.
That is the state of mind that we aim to experience more consistently, the realm of genius that alas for most people, does not last very long. The beacon of hope is that we can train oursleves to operate in that mode, simply through practice. In the same way that playing lots of blitz chess games can get us into the blitz-mode of unconscious competence, we can expect that invoking blitz mode in other ways (e.g. I use a stopclock while I'm working and give myself no more than 10 minutes for a task) will help us attain this state - the mental superhighway, where time seems to expand as we go faster and more becomes possible...
Edgard Varese, US (French-born) composer (1883 - 1965)
A week of oscillation between laser-like focus in blitz mode to headless chicken distraction in snail mode. The great truth, demonstrated time and again, is that blitz mode does expand time and create new possibilities. The trick is to sustain it and attract it more often. This applies not just to work but to all aspects of life where accomplishment is the order of the day. It shall form the thrust of my research over the coming weeks. The other aspect of blitz mode is that it appears to connect us with our genius...
There is something about high speed mental activity that appears to ultimately release a higher level of performance. Speed readers experience an increased comprehension as they read faster. Blitz chess players achieve a greater understanding of the position than sometimes occurs in normal chess. That, in itself, is surprising, given that chess is a game of calculation and evaluating various sequences of moves and possibilities. So why should going faster make any difference? Why, more pertinently, could things possibly get better?
Well, let's return to the speed reading example. Part of the magic of speed reading is that you begin to engage the dormant parts of your brain, which are usually not engaged during normal reading. You have plenty of spare capacity to think about other things, or get distracted. When you are speed reading, there is no capacity for anything else. When you are driving really really fast, there is no capacity for putting in a new CD or even adjusting the climate control - your attention is totally on the road ahead. So that is one element - focus. However, I suspect that a deeper more powerful aspect is also at play...
Throughout your day, your body is performing millions of tasks seamlessly, keeping you alive and safe. All of this occurs without your conscious attention. You may also have noticed that after much practice at something you become able to do it "without thinking". Stephen Covey talked about four levels of performance - unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and unconscious competence. Unconscious competence is the highest level precisely because you are engaging a much more powerful computer - your unconscious mind.
The unconscious mind is like a child with super powers. It needs direction from an adult, but can achieve far more than the adult is capable of. So the trick is to get your conscious mind to provide direction to the unconscious mind without taking over the tasks and limiting you to a normal performance. In reality, this happens naturally with practice as you go through the four levels of performance. It is particularly striking in blitz chess, where initially you lose and don't really know why. Then you get better and start to understand why you are losing, either on the board or on the clock. Then you start to win some games but you are having to put in a monstrous mental effort (calculation, evaluation etc) and you often may have seconds left on your clock. Finally, you begin to have games where it becomes effortless and the essence of the changing position is crystal-clear to you without really thinking about it - you just play the right moves and it is natural and flowing.
That is the state of mind that we aim to experience more consistently, the realm of genius that alas for most people, does not last very long. The beacon of hope is that we can train oursleves to operate in that mode, simply through practice. In the same way that playing lots of blitz chess games can get us into the blitz-mode of unconscious competence, we can expect that invoking blitz mode in other ways (e.g. I use a stopclock while I'm working and give myself no more than 10 minutes for a task) will help us attain this state - the mental superhighway, where time seems to expand as we go faster and more becomes possible...
Friday, 8 February 2008
Friendship
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. "
Japanese Proverb
An interesting week with many new discoveries. It is said that stress occurs when the perceived demands exceed the perceived resources. The pace of demands does not let up, but there is much scope for increasing the resources that can be brought to bear. The basic resources are Time, Energy and Money, but to that I would add Knowledge, Attention and Relationships (TEMKAR). All of these can be nurtured to enrich your life materially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In future postings, we will explore these in more detail.
Let's briefly focus on Relationships today, and specifically, the type of relationship called Friend. What is a friend and why do we have them? I will let the quotations at the end of this posting answer this, but the themes that emerge are around sharing and support as well as company. Keeping good company is a critical facet of your well-being and the Japanese proverb strikes a powerful chord. Take a good look at your friends and see what they reveal about you...
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. "
Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 - 1915)
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. "
Dale Carnegie
"All people want is someone to listen. "
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, May 8, 2003Author of the Standing Room Only Weblog (http://blogs.salon.com/0001573/).
"Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. "
Jay Leno, US comedian & television host (1950 - )
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. "
John Churton Collins
Japanese Proverb
An interesting week with many new discoveries. It is said that stress occurs when the perceived demands exceed the perceived resources. The pace of demands does not let up, but there is much scope for increasing the resources that can be brought to bear. The basic resources are Time, Energy and Money, but to that I would add Knowledge, Attention and Relationships (TEMKAR). All of these can be nurtured to enrich your life materially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In future postings, we will explore these in more detail.
Let's briefly focus on Relationships today, and specifically, the type of relationship called Friend. What is a friend and why do we have them? I will let the quotations at the end of this posting answer this, but the themes that emerge are around sharing and support as well as company. Keeping good company is a critical facet of your well-being and the Japanese proverb strikes a powerful chord. Take a good look at your friends and see what they reveal about you...
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. "
Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 - 1915)
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. "
Dale Carnegie
"All people want is someone to listen. "
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, May 8, 2003Author of the Standing Room Only Weblog (http://blogs.salon.com/0001573/).
"Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. "
Jay Leno, US comedian & television host (1950 - )
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. "
John Churton Collins
Sunday, 3 February 2008
Freedom
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. "
George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
Another great week and a marvellous set of new lessons learnt. One concept that I have been developing is the idea of Blitz, derived from my experiences playing speed chess. Myself and my opponent (often thousands of miles away) each have five minutes to make all our moves in the game. Creativity and calculation are triggered at lightning speed and time seems to expand. Five minutes begins to feel like an hour. This same concept applied to work can lead to fairly spectacular results. Indeed, in those rare sessions when I have achieved Blitz mode while at work, I have felt a strange sense of peace - a sense of freedom.
This is how, in the face of overwhelming challenges and numerous tasks, one can still find space to move your life forward. The concept of space is related to the concept of freedom and the chess metaphor holds true here. If your position in chess is cramped, and you don't have much space, then you are not free. Space leads to freedom, and freedom tends to lead to creativity - in chess there are more possbilities for devastating combination in an open position.
More generally, freedom relates to much more than merely space and time. The quotation above relates to the inevitable consequence of freedom that many find less palatable - responsibility. We want to be treated as adults, free to make our life choices, but we also want to be cared for by the state or the company. We want to have the freedom of doing what we love, but we also want the security of regular income. It is only when we are truly ready to pick up the tab of responsibility that we can truly enjoy freedom.
Ultimately, freedom lies in the mind and the ability to choose your mental and emotional reaction (if not physical) to life's events. And, to this extent, one great freedom is the freedom of presence. The past and future, as useful in handling functional tasks as they may be, often shackle us in pyschological and emotional matters. Becoming present releases us from this mental prison and creates the space for our freedom...
"Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery. "
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "
Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897)US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. "
Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher (1813 - 1855)
George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
Another great week and a marvellous set of new lessons learnt. One concept that I have been developing is the idea of Blitz, derived from my experiences playing speed chess. Myself and my opponent (often thousands of miles away) each have five minutes to make all our moves in the game. Creativity and calculation are triggered at lightning speed and time seems to expand. Five minutes begins to feel like an hour. This same concept applied to work can lead to fairly spectacular results. Indeed, in those rare sessions when I have achieved Blitz mode while at work, I have felt a strange sense of peace - a sense of freedom.
This is how, in the face of overwhelming challenges and numerous tasks, one can still find space to move your life forward. The concept of space is related to the concept of freedom and the chess metaphor holds true here. If your position in chess is cramped, and you don't have much space, then you are not free. Space leads to freedom, and freedom tends to lead to creativity - in chess there are more possbilities for devastating combination in an open position.
More generally, freedom relates to much more than merely space and time. The quotation above relates to the inevitable consequence of freedom that many find less palatable - responsibility. We want to be treated as adults, free to make our life choices, but we also want to be cared for by the state or the company. We want to have the freedom of doing what we love, but we also want the security of regular income. It is only when we are truly ready to pick up the tab of responsibility that we can truly enjoy freedom.
Ultimately, freedom lies in the mind and the ability to choose your mental and emotional reaction (if not physical) to life's events. And, to this extent, one great freedom is the freedom of presence. The past and future, as useful in handling functional tasks as they may be, often shackle us in pyschological and emotional matters. Becoming present releases us from this mental prison and creates the space for our freedom...
"Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery. "
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "
Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897)US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. "
Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher (1813 - 1855)
Friday, 25 January 2008
Forgiveness
"If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others? "
Dolores Huerta
The end of a frantic week with lots of achievements and lots of setbacks. One interesting episode was when I was stuck in traffic for just under six hours trying to get to work on Thursday. I went through the usual gamut of emotions - mild irritation, increasing concern, growing anger, absolute fury and finally hysterical laughter before taking calm constructive action. But looking back, I wonder if that whole rollercoaster was really necesary. Would a little forgiveness early on have avoided the whole drama?
Fortunately, I reached the calm constructive action phase after less than two hours, so it turned out to be a useful trip. I made numerous phone calls (handsfree of course, not that it would have made any practical difference when the car was mostly stationary), I solved several technical and management problems, I rehearsed several presentations and conversations, did some mental gym exercises, listened to some educational CDs, did some finger control exercises (for a drummer) and listened to some interesting discussions on the radio. Quite a useful trip, really.
Well, how did that calm and constructive phase arise? Was it simply the inevitable next destination of the emotional rollercoaster? Perhaps, but could it actually be a form of forgiveness? Does forgiveness really have to be about agreeing to let someone off the hook (emotionally) for a wrong-doing? Or is it simply a question of seeing beyond, overlooking (consciously) or simply letting go? Is it the act of changing your perception to see things as they are now, rather than as burdened with the past? I changed my perception of the situation to see it as an opportunity to accomplish much, an oasis of personal time that I rarely get, a situation where I could even talk to myself aloud and not be sectioned, a gift of time...And yet, moments before I had seen the situation very differently - missed meetings, wasted time, hours of traffic ahead, bursting bladder...
I see forgiveness as very strongly linked with presence. My first reaction when I have a forgiveness opportunity (i.e. I think that something or someone has inconvenienced of offended me) is to get present, quickly. Sometimes I catch it in time, sometimes I don't (and the rollercoaster hurtles off!). The point is, offence is in the past. Indeed, problems are in the past (stem from your thinking and opinions). It is difficult for problems to exist in the now, events can occur in the now but problems require thought which is based on the past.
I find this approach to forgiveness - getting present and changing my perception - more effective for me than the traditional form, which upholds the grievance but temporarily releases the perpetrator. However, whichever method we choose, the key is that forgiveness leads to freedom - freedom from the pain of resentment, freedom from the tension of holding grievances, freedom from the apathy of victimhood, freedom from the shackles of guilt ...
For the key to forgiving others lies with forgiving ourselves. We deny certain aspects of ourselves and project these out onto other people. And when these people reflect these aspects back onto us, we often react with particular anger and indignation - an unwelcome old face is being presented at our door. A challenging exercise is to recognise in someone who has presented you with a forgiveness opportunity, a chance to forgive yourself first. It will not be easy, indeed it may seem ridiculous, but therein lies the liberty of love itself...
"Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives. "
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
"Life is an adventure in forgiveness. "
Norman CousinsUS editor & essayist (1915 - 1990)
"It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on. "
Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, July 7, 2003, Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. "
William Blake, English engraver, illustrator, & poet (1757 - 1827)
Dolores Huerta
The end of a frantic week with lots of achievements and lots of setbacks. One interesting episode was when I was stuck in traffic for just under six hours trying to get to work on Thursday. I went through the usual gamut of emotions - mild irritation, increasing concern, growing anger, absolute fury and finally hysterical laughter before taking calm constructive action. But looking back, I wonder if that whole rollercoaster was really necesary. Would a little forgiveness early on have avoided the whole drama?
Fortunately, I reached the calm constructive action phase after less than two hours, so it turned out to be a useful trip. I made numerous phone calls (handsfree of course, not that it would have made any practical difference when the car was mostly stationary), I solved several technical and management problems, I rehearsed several presentations and conversations, did some mental gym exercises, listened to some educational CDs, did some finger control exercises (for a drummer) and listened to some interesting discussions on the radio. Quite a useful trip, really.
Well, how did that calm and constructive phase arise? Was it simply the inevitable next destination of the emotional rollercoaster? Perhaps, but could it actually be a form of forgiveness? Does forgiveness really have to be about agreeing to let someone off the hook (emotionally) for a wrong-doing? Or is it simply a question of seeing beyond, overlooking (consciously) or simply letting go? Is it the act of changing your perception to see things as they are now, rather than as burdened with the past? I changed my perception of the situation to see it as an opportunity to accomplish much, an oasis of personal time that I rarely get, a situation where I could even talk to myself aloud and not be sectioned, a gift of time...And yet, moments before I had seen the situation very differently - missed meetings, wasted time, hours of traffic ahead, bursting bladder...
I see forgiveness as very strongly linked with presence. My first reaction when I have a forgiveness opportunity (i.e. I think that something or someone has inconvenienced of offended me) is to get present, quickly. Sometimes I catch it in time, sometimes I don't (and the rollercoaster hurtles off!). The point is, offence is in the past. Indeed, problems are in the past (stem from your thinking and opinions). It is difficult for problems to exist in the now, events can occur in the now but problems require thought which is based on the past.
I find this approach to forgiveness - getting present and changing my perception - more effective for me than the traditional form, which upholds the grievance but temporarily releases the perpetrator. However, whichever method we choose, the key is that forgiveness leads to freedom - freedom from the pain of resentment, freedom from the tension of holding grievances, freedom from the apathy of victimhood, freedom from the shackles of guilt ...
For the key to forgiving others lies with forgiving ourselves. We deny certain aspects of ourselves and project these out onto other people. And when these people reflect these aspects back onto us, we often react with particular anger and indignation - an unwelcome old face is being presented at our door. A challenging exercise is to recognise in someone who has presented you with a forgiveness opportunity, a chance to forgive yourself first. It will not be easy, indeed it may seem ridiculous, but therein lies the liberty of love itself...
"Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives. "
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
"Life is an adventure in forgiveness. "
Norman CousinsUS editor & essayist (1915 - 1990)
"It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on. "
Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, July 7, 2003, Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. "
William Blake, English engraver, illustrator, & poet (1757 - 1827)
Saturday, 19 January 2008
Fear
"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. "
Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays (1950), "Outline of Intellectual Rubbish"British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970)
A fine morning with my son blasting through his jigsaw puzzle with much more vigour and precision than he (and his parents!) had managed last night. It strikes me as I watch him approach tasks that the absence of fear can be so liberating and empowering. Some fear can be useful, indeed essential for self-preservation especially where there is clear physical danger involved - one might argue that this is not fear but instinct, but let's call it fear. I suspect that the vast majority of fear that we feel is probably unnecessary and destructive.
How do we get to the heart of the matter simply and quickly? What if we focus on the result of the fear? What happens to the fearful person? Do they take right action? Do they take wrong action? Or do they take no action? I think these three responses to fear stem from the nature of the fear itself and ultimately from the history of fear in the person. Let's start with the fear that leads to right action. I am about to be hit by a car and I jump out of the way. Or a gunman is approaching me and I take evasive action. First question. Am I right to be afraid? Second question. Is my response appropriate?
Let's now move to a more sinister form of fear, one that is increasingly familiar in recent history. There is propaganda about a certain group of people in society - "they are out to get us, they want to destroy us all , they do this, they do that, they believe this ...". This leads to fearful beliefs and ultimately to violence and cruelty in the name of "self-preservation" - "we had to get them before they got us", "the end justifies the means". An example of wrong action?
Finally, how about the most common form - the fear that leads to no action, the fear that paralyses us and holds us back in our lives. We procrastinate, resist, "plan", "analyse" etc. But we don't actually take the required ACTION. We freeze before an exam, a performance, an important conversation, an opportunity to become involved in a key venture. We shrink from the light...
I have found that one useful approach to dealing with fear is to become very aware of it, to actually observe yourself and acknowledge the fear explicitly. You become very present and often will find that the fear immediately subsides under the glare of your attention. It seems like it can only thrive in darkness and obscurity, not when it is being watched and perhaps even savoured, like an exotic specimen of wildlife being filmed...
"I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. "
Frances Moore Lappe, O Magazine, May 2004
"Let the fear of danger be a spur to prevent it; he that fears not, gives advantage to the danger."
Francis QuarlesEnglish poet (1592 - 1644)
"Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt. "
George Sewell
"Feel the fear and do it anyway. "
Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, 1988
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light , not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson, "Our greatest fear" from her book 'A return to love'
Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays (1950), "Outline of Intellectual Rubbish"British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970)
A fine morning with my son blasting through his jigsaw puzzle with much more vigour and precision than he (and his parents!) had managed last night. It strikes me as I watch him approach tasks that the absence of fear can be so liberating and empowering. Some fear can be useful, indeed essential for self-preservation especially where there is clear physical danger involved - one might argue that this is not fear but instinct, but let's call it fear. I suspect that the vast majority of fear that we feel is probably unnecessary and destructive.
How do we get to the heart of the matter simply and quickly? What if we focus on the result of the fear? What happens to the fearful person? Do they take right action? Do they take wrong action? Or do they take no action? I think these three responses to fear stem from the nature of the fear itself and ultimately from the history of fear in the person. Let's start with the fear that leads to right action. I am about to be hit by a car and I jump out of the way. Or a gunman is approaching me and I take evasive action. First question. Am I right to be afraid? Second question. Is my response appropriate?
Let's now move to a more sinister form of fear, one that is increasingly familiar in recent history. There is propaganda about a certain group of people in society - "they are out to get us, they want to destroy us all , they do this, they do that, they believe this ...". This leads to fearful beliefs and ultimately to violence and cruelty in the name of "self-preservation" - "we had to get them before they got us", "the end justifies the means". An example of wrong action?
Finally, how about the most common form - the fear that leads to no action, the fear that paralyses us and holds us back in our lives. We procrastinate, resist, "plan", "analyse" etc. But we don't actually take the required ACTION. We freeze before an exam, a performance, an important conversation, an opportunity to become involved in a key venture. We shrink from the light...
I have found that one useful approach to dealing with fear is to become very aware of it, to actually observe yourself and acknowledge the fear explicitly. You become very present and often will find that the fear immediately subsides under the glare of your attention. It seems like it can only thrive in darkness and obscurity, not when it is being watched and perhaps even savoured, like an exotic specimen of wildlife being filmed...
"I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. "
Frances Moore Lappe, O Magazine, May 2004
"Let the fear of danger be a spur to prevent it; he that fears not, gives advantage to the danger."
Francis QuarlesEnglish poet (1592 - 1644)
"Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt. "
George Sewell
"Feel the fear and do it anyway. "
Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, 1988
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light , not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson, "Our greatest fear" from her book 'A return to love'
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Faith
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. "
Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 - 1933)
Started the new year with a bang and renewed vigour for the ever-growing challenges. The new year is a time for celebration but also for reflection and, over a week into it, the idea of faith is one to consider.
To the extent that faith provides confidence and hope, it has value. The phrase "things will get better" borrows a little faith to get one through testing times. But what about faith that anchors one's perceptions and views of what is? Or what about faith that effectively informs or dictates an opinion on a subject? Is there a spectrum from confidence to dogma? And to the extent that we bring faith into issues of knowledge or understanding rather than situations or challenges, are we straying into the spectrum of lower value? Is there not some value in having doubt in the information or knowledge realm, where this doubt triggers further enquiry and debate and ultimately increases the accuracy and understanding of the information or knowledge?
I guess what Wilson Misner is getting at is that faith makes you feel better, but doubt makes you learn more...
Wilson Mizner, US screenwriter (1876 - 1933)
Started the new year with a bang and renewed vigour for the ever-growing challenges. The new year is a time for celebration but also for reflection and, over a week into it, the idea of faith is one to consider.
To the extent that faith provides confidence and hope, it has value. The phrase "things will get better" borrows a little faith to get one through testing times. But what about faith that anchors one's perceptions and views of what is? Or what about faith that effectively informs or dictates an opinion on a subject? Is there a spectrum from confidence to dogma? And to the extent that we bring faith into issues of knowledge or understanding rather than situations or challenges, are we straying into the spectrum of lower value? Is there not some value in having doubt in the information or knowledge realm, where this doubt triggers further enquiry and debate and ultimately increases the accuracy and understanding of the information or knowledge?
I guess what Wilson Misner is getting at is that faith makes you feel better, but doubt makes you learn more...
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